Pinkie Pie: (squeals) I...can't...believe...the Grand...Galloping...Gala...is...tonight!
(Pinkie Pie bouncing on trampoline)
Twilight: Pinkie! Please stop shouting! I'm trying to concentrate.
Rarity: (chastising) Pinkie Pie! Stop that right now.
It's time to prepare for the Gala, and I refuse to let you put on your new dress when you're all sweaty.
Pinkie Pie: What's Twilight doing?
Spike: She's got an awesome magic spell she's been working on for the Gala.
Rarity: Where ARE the others? It's getting late. Applejack: Hold yer horses, girl. We're here.
Twilight: Perfect. I'm ready!
Rainbow Dash: For what?
Twilight: All right, Spike.
Pinkie Pie: An apple! Are we having PIE?
Spike: Shh! Watch!
(apple makes stretching noises, poofs)
(ponies voicing awe and excitement)
Twilight: Thanks! But that's just the start. Fluttershy, did you bring your friends?
Fluttershy: Yes. Will they be safe, Twilight?
Twilight: You have my word.
(magical humming, poof)
Twilight: Ta-da!
(ponies unimpressed)
Twilight: (unfazed) Neat, huh?
And don't worry, they'll be mice again at midnight.
Fluttershy: Opalescence! NO!
(Opalescence hisses, "horses" 'squeak-neigh')
Twilight: WAIT! COME BACK!
Those horses were supposed to pull our carriage.
How will we get to the Gala?!
Rarity: (melodramatic sarcasm) WhatEVER shall we do?!
(Rarity clears throat ostentatiously) (flirtatiously) Um, would you boys mind pulling our carriage to the Gala?
Twilight: (sheepishly) Oh. Yeah. Right.
(theme song begins) My Little Pony, My Little Pony, ah, ah, ah, ah,
(My Little Pony) Twilight: I used to wonder what friendship could be
(My Little Pony) Until you all shared its magic with me
Rainbow Dash: Big adventure Pinkie Pie: Tons of fun
Rarity: A beautiful heart Applejack: Faithful and strong
Fluttershy: Sharing kindness Twilight: It's an easy feat
All: And magic makes it all complete, yeah
(My Little Pony) Do you know, you're all my very best friends
(dryers humming)
Pinkie Pie: Ooh! (dryer blasts air)
Rarity: Heavens, no! We're getting dressed!
Applejack: "Dressed?" Uh, beg pardon, Rarity, but uh...we don't normally wear clothes.
(Rarity groans ostentatiously)
Rarity: (haughtily) I'm sorry, Spike. Some of us DO have standards.
Spike: I still can't believe we're gonna be at Canterlot tonight. Our home town, Twilight!
And the best part is that we all get to hang out together ALL NIGHT LONG!
Rainbow Dash: (hesitantly) Uh, I-I don't know, Spike...
Rarity: We'll just have to see.
Applejack: (spits) We're gonna be a mite busy.
Pinkie Pie: Busy having FUN! (mane poofs)
Spike: (crestfallen) Oh. Okay.
Twilight: Don't worry, Spike. We'll all get to spend some time together.
Spike: Great!
'Cause I planned out my insider's tour of Canterlot!
I gotta show Rarity the crown jewels and Applejack the princess' golden apple tree.
And Pinkie, we GOTTA go to my favorite donut shop!
(ponies conversing indistinctly, ignoring Spike)
Then let's get moving! HYAH!
Male pony: (very deep voice) Ex-CUSE me?
Spike: (stammering) Um...I...
Other male pony: If you weren't friends with our neighbor Rarity...hmph!
(waterfall gushing)
(orchestral fanfare)
Spike: Whoa!
You all look...amazing!
(orchestral intro plays) Twilight: I can't believe we're finally here!
(orchestral intro) With all that we've imagined, the reality of this night is sure to make this...
THE BEST NIGHT EVER! (fireworks)
Twilight: (singing) At the Gala [At the Gala]
(gentle string melody) Fluttershy: At the Gala, in the garden I'm going to see them all
All the creatures I'll befriend them at the Gala [At the Gala]
All the birdies and the critters They will love me, big and small
We'll become good friends forever
Fluttershy: Right here at the GALA! (holds note over chorus) Chorus: All our dreams will come true right here at the Gala At the Gala
Applejack: (with choral backup) At the Gala [It's amazing] I will sell them [Better hurry]
All my appletastic treats [Yummy, yummy]
Hungry ponies [They'll be snacking] They will buy them [Bringing money]
Caramel apples, apple sweets [Gimme some]
And I'll earn a lot of money
Applejack: For the Apple FAMILY! (holds not) Chorus: All our dreams and our hopes, from now until hereafter
All that we've been wishing for will happen at the Gala At the Gala
(elegant string tune) Rarity: At the Gala, all the royals They will meet fair Rarity
They will see I'm just as regal at the Gala [At the Gala]
I will find him, my Prince Charming And how gallant he will be
He will treat me like a lady
Rarity: Tonight at the GALA! (holds note) Chorus: This is what we've waited for, to have the best night ever
Each of us will live our dreams tonight at the Gala At the Gala
(trumpet fanfare, jets whooshing)
(driving, percussion-heavy rhythm) Rainbow Dash: Been dreaming, I've been waiting To fly with those brave ponies
The Wonderbolts, their daring tricks Spinning round and having kicks
Perform for crowds of thousands They'll shower us with diamonds
The Wonderbolts will see me
Rainbow Dash: Right here at the GALA! (holds note) Chorus: All we've longed for, all we've dreamed, our Happy Ever After
(fireworks) Finally will all come true right here at the Grand Gala At the Gala
(jaunty, bouncy tune) Pinkie Pie: I am here at the Grand Gala For it is the best party
But the one thing it was missing Was a pony named Pinkie
For I am the best at parties All the ponies will agree
Ponies playing, ponies dancing
Pinkie Pie: With me at the Grand GALA! (holds note) Chorus: Happiness and laughter at the Gala At the Gala
(orchestral flourish)
(regal orchestral melody with choral backup) Twilight: At the Gala [At the Gala] With the princess [With the princess]
Is where I'm going to be [She will be]
We will talk all about magic And what I've learned and seen [She's seen]
It is going to be so special
Twilight: As she takes time just for ME! (holds note) Chorus: This will be the best night ever
(music building in intensity) All: Into the Gala we must go We're ready now, we're all aglow
Into the Gala, let's go in And have the best night ever
Into the Gala, now's the time We're ready and we look divine
Fluttershy: [Into the Gala] Meet new friends
Applejack: [Into the Gala] Sell some apples
Rarity: [Into the Gala] Find my prince
Rainbow Dash: [Prove I'm great] As a Wonderbolt is
Fluttershy: To meet Applejack: To sell
Rarity: To find Rainbow Dash: To prove
Pinkie Pie: To whoop Twilight: To talk
(music builds to crescendo) All: Into the Gala, into the Gala
And we'll have the best night EVER! (holding note)
(fireworks create percussive claptrap finish) AT THE GALA!
(song ends) Spike: YEAH! This IS gonna be the best night ever!
You know why?
'Cause we're all gonna spend time at the Gala to- (Spike yelps as he spins around)
-gether...
(dejected) Or not.
Twilight: Princess Celestia!
Celestia: Twilight! It is so lovely to see my star student.
Twilight: Oh, I'm so excited to be here!
We have so much to catch up on!
Celestia: Well, I want you right by my side the entire evening so we'll have plenty of time together.
Twilight: That's just what I was hoping you'd say!
(Rarity gasps)
(Rarity squeals with delight)
Rarity: (to self) Hurry, Rarity! Oh, but not too fast.
But I don't want to lose him-WAIT! Have to play it cool..
Oh, but don't be cold!
(gushing) I can't lose him, I can't! He's everything I've imagined!
(wind blows, orchestral flourish plays)
(dreamily) Even better than I imagined...
(bird chirps)
Fluttershy: Oh my, a meadowlark!
(shrill whistling) (gasps) I think she's calling to me!
It's exactly what I wished for!
(Fluttershy vocalizes; whistle responds)
(Applejack kicks cart hard)
(cart unfolds loudly) Applejack: Howdy, partner. Y'hungry?
Soarin: As a horse!
Applejack: Well, whatcha hankerin' for?
Caramel apple? Apple pie? Apple fritter? Apple fries?
Soarin: (excited) I'll take that big apple pie!
Applejack: Well, thank you kindly, sir!
YEEHAW! In my first minute, I made my first sale!
Just like I expected!
(ponies chattering)
Spitfire: Always hungry after a show, eh, Soarin?
Soarin: Heh, yeah! (gasps)
Soarin: (distorted, slow-motion) MY PIE!
You saved it! Thanks.
Rainbow Dash: (humbled) Hey, no prob!
Spitfire: Hey! I know you.
You're the pony that saved us in Cloudsdale and won the Best Flier Competition.
Rainbow Dash: Hey, yeah! Name's Rainbow Dash.
Spitfire: Well, Rainbow Dash, looks like your skills saved us again.
(chuckling) Or, well, at least they saved Soarin's apple pie.
(Soarin chewing loudly and "om nom nom"-ing) Wanna come hang out with us?
Rainbow Dash: (feigning nonchalance) Sure. Why not?
(fangirlish squealing) I'm...hanging...with...the WONDERBOLTS!
(squeals, giggles)
Pinkie Pie: (excited squealing) The shiny dance floor...
the pretty party ponies...
Ooh, the fancy band!
Shiny! Pretty! Fancy! (bizarre ascending pitch noise) GOTTA DANCE!
(tune of "For He's a Jolly Good Fellow") (singing) I'm at the Grand Galloping Gala I'm at the Grand Galloping Gala
I'm at the Grand Galloping Galaaaa, It's all I ever dreamed
(band missing cues on instruments as Pinkie Pie sings) It's all I ever dreamed, WOO-HOO! It's all I ever dreamed, YIPPEE!
(pitch on "Gala" ascends to very shrill crescendo) I'm at the Grand Galloping Gala-a-a-A-A...
(song ends, awkward silence, pony coughs)
(sheepishly) It's all I've ever...dreamed?
Blueblood: (refined, gallant speech) Well, hello. I am Prince Blueblood.
Rarity: (bashfully) I am...Rarity. Oh, my, what a LOVELY rose.
Blueblood: You mean...THIS rose?
(narcissistic) Thank you. It goes with my eyes.
(Rarity moans)
(Fluttershy vocalizes, whistle responds)
Fluttershy: (sighing happily) My little meadowlark is right around the bend!
(gardener whistles same tune as response)
Fluttershy: Was that YOU?
Gardener: (gruff, unrefined tone) Yep! I lurve whistlin' while I work. (whistles)
Fluttershy: (flustered) Oh! Yes...well...excuse me...
(animal noises, Fluttershy gasps)
I see a toco toucan and a spider monkey!
(gasps) Oh! And is that a wallaroo [wallaby + kangaroo]?
(self-admonitory) Oh, Fluttershy. You're such a loudmouth.
(ponies chattering)
Rainbow Dash: (yelling over crowd) Hey, Spitfire! You ever done a raincloud double backflip?
You ever soared past lightning? It's awesome!
Celestia: Welcome to the Grand Galloping Gala.
Twilight: Princess! I've been so excited to spend time with you, and-
Celestia: Yes, me too, Twi- Oh, good evening! Welcome to the Gala.
Which is why I- Ladies! Lovely to see you again.
(Twilight sighs)
Twilight: Looks like getting to talk with the princess is going to be a magic trick in itself...
Applejack: (content) First minute, first sale.
(progressively dispirited) Second...fourth...sixth...
(flatly) Sixtieth minute...
No sales.
(sighs) This ain't what I expected ayt [at] all.
Pinkie Pie: (singing dejectedly) I'm at the Grand Galloping Gala...
(talking sadly) ...and it's NOT what I dreamed.
Rarity: This isn't at all what I imagined...
(Celestia greeting guests indistinctly)
Twilight: This isn't what I hoped...
Rainbow Dash: This isn't "hanging out."
Fluttershy: This isn't what I wished for...
Twilight: No! | Rarity: I've waited all my LIFE- Fluttershy: -for this moment!
Pinkie Pie: And I'm not going to- Applejack: -let it slip by!
Rainbow Dash: If it's the LAST thing I do- Twilight: -I'm gonna make this...
All six: The BEST NIGHT EVER!
Fluttershy: (hushed) I just have to be more bold, like Twilight says.
Fluttershy: (mouth full, loudly) I'm SHO sorry to have scared you, my friendsh!
(theatrically loud) But I'm leaving now, sho you can ALL come out!
(crunching, crashing noises)
GOTCHA! It's okay, I promise not to hurt ya. I just wanna be your-
Fluttershy: ...friend? Gardener: Mm! Sounds good t'me!
Rainbow Dash: (to self) Come on, Rainbow! If they don't notice you, you gotta MAKE 'em notice you!
(Rainbow Dash whistles innocently)
(crash)
(male pony screams)
(male pony flails, lands on Rainbow Dash)
(pony grunts)
Rarity: (to self) Just give him a chance, Rarity. His princely side is sure to come out if you're just patient.
Blueblood: Miss Rarity! Stop!
Rarity: (flirtatiously) Oh! Prince Blueblood! How chivalrous.
Blueblood: One would hate to slip.
Rarity: (flattered) Yes, "one" certainly would. (giggles)
Blueblood: "One's" cloak should take care of the problem.
Rarity: Oh, of COURSE it will!
(Pinkie Pie gasps)
(ponies stop playing instruments while Pinkie Pie whispers to them)
(pony blows tuba)
(Pinkie Pie taps microphone)
Pinkie Pie: (amplified) Come on, everypony! I know what'll make you shake those groove thangs!
(music plays, Pinkie Pie sings to tune of "Hokey Pokey") You reach your right hoof in You reach your right hoof out
You reach your right hoof in And you shake it all about
(Twilight's hoof pulses like a heartbeat) You do the Pony Pokey Meeting lots of folks with clout
That's what I'm talking about!
You step your left hoof in (Applejack kicks stand) You pull it right back out
You step your left hoof in But you better help him out
You do the Pony Pokey But you find a different route
That's what it's all about!
You kick your back leg in (Rainbow Dash kicks table) You pull your back leg out
You reach your back leg in Just be brave and have no doubt
You do the Pony Pokey Feelin' like you're gonna pout
That's what I'm singing about!
You tilt your head in You tilt your head out
You tilt your head in And you shake it all about
You do the Pony Pokey Even though your date's a lout
You're better off without! (door slams on Rarity)
(Fluttershy crashing into ground repeatedly) You stomp your whole self in You stomp your whole self out
You stomp your whole self in And you stomp yourself about
You do the Pony Pokey And you give a little shout [Fluttershy: COME OUT!]
That's what I'm talking about!
(piano playing chaotically) You do the Pony Pokey
And that's what it's all about! YEAH! (song ends)
Snobbish mare: Young lady, this is not THAT kind of party!
Pinkie Pie: Ooooooooh! They don't want a "party!"
These ponies want a "PARRR-TAY!"
Rarity: Two apple fritters, please.
Applejack: Two apple fritters, comin' right up!
That'll be four bits.
Rarity: (suggestively) Ahem? Blueblood: (crossly) Ahem.
Rarity: (irritated) AHEM. Blueblood: (domineering) AHEM!
Rarity: (sighs, sarcastically) I'm going to have to pay, aren't I?
Applejack: It's okay, Rarity. I gotcha covered.
Rarity: Thank you, Applejack! (slighting) At least SOMEPONY here has good manners...
(Blueblood chews fritter, gags and vomits)
Blueblood: (disgusted) Ugh! Fritters? Dumplings? Caramel apples?!
My royal lips have touched common CARNIVAL FARE!
I'm going to the buffet for some...hors d'oeuvres.
Applejack: Well, no WONDER nopony wants my food!
They're fillin' up on all those fancy-schmancy vittles!
Well, my down-home apples are PLENTY good enough fer this crowd!
I'll just dress 'em up a bit and prove it to 'em.
Fluttershy: (tinged with insanity) I'll catch you yet, my pretties.
(progressively more nefarious) Oh, yes. As soon as one of you BIRDS or MONKEYS or BEARS touches this net...
You'll be MINE! MIIINE!
(excessively nefarious laughter, thunder)
(Fluttershy yelps)
(bass thumping loudly) Pinkie Pie: Come on, everypony! You wanted a PAR-TAY?
Now let's PAR-TAY! (drumroll)
(bass gets louder) Yeah! Unh! Now THAT'S a beat! Yeah!
Come on, dance!
YEAH! WOO-HOO!
Applejack: Okay, all you high-class ponies.
Here's a highfalutin' apple cake for all your (disdainfully) hoity-toity tastebuds.
Pinkie Pie: STAGE DIIIIVE!
(crash)
(Rarity and Blueblood both scream)
(cake splatters on Rarity)
(music abruptly stops, Rarity growls in frustration)
Rarity: (enraged) YOU, sir, are the most UNCHARMING prince I have EVER MET!
It seems that the only thing "ROYAL" about you is that you are a ROYAL PAIN!
Blueblood: (foppishly) E-ewww! Stay back! I just had myself groomed!
Rarity: (mockingly) Afraid to get DIRTY?!
(Rarity flails angrily; Blueblood yelps flamboyantly and crashes into pedestal)
(loud, ominous creaking) Rainbow Dash: This is my chance!
(creaking)
YES! Wh-whoooa!
(statue impacts column)
(column buckling)
(columns smash into each other in turn, then crash into ground)
(statue cracks and shatters)
Twilight: (to self) Well...it can't get any worse...
(loud approaching rumble, doors slam open)
(animals screeching in fear)
Fluttershy: (frenzied, echoing shouting) You're...going to LOVE MEEEE!
(pandemonium)
(Twilight mumbling incoherently, gasps)
Celestia: Run.
(Twilight whistles)
(pandemonium continues)
(Rarity's slipper clinks on steps)
Pinkie Pie: Ooh! Rarity, your glass slipper!
Now your prince is SURE to find you!
Rarity: (shrieks) NO! (grunts, smashes slipper) LET'S GO!
Spike: (slams cup on counter) Hey. Pony Joe. Another donut.
Pony Joe: (gruff New Yorker bartender voice) Don't you think you've had enough?
Spike: (slams cup, insistently) Another donut! Extra sprinkles.
Pony Joe: Twilight Sparkle. (laughs) Long time no see!
Spike: Hey, how was the Gala? How was your "Best Night Ever?"
Spike: ...That sounds like the WORST night ever!
Ponies: IT WAS! (all laugh jovially)
Twilight: I just hope Princess Celestia isn't upset with us for ruining the Gala.
Celestia: THAT was the BEST Grand Galloping Gala EVER!
All: Princess Celestia?!
Twilight: Pardon me, Princess, but tonight was just...awful.
Celestia: Oh, Twilight. The Grand Galloping Gala is ALWAYS awful.
Twilight: (confused) It is...?
Celestia: That is why I was thrilled you were all attending.
I was hoping you could liven things up a bit.
And while the evening may not have gone as you planned,
I'm sure you'll agree that, in the end, it didn't turn out so bad for this group of friends.
Twilight: You're right, Princess.
Friends have a way of making even the worst of times into something pretty great.
Rainbow Dash: Yeah! Hangin' out with friends!
Fluttershy: Talking! Pinkie Pie: Laughing!
Spike: (stroking ego) You mean, doing exactly what I wanted to do the whole time?
Twilight: Yes, Spike. You were right.
Applejack: As horrible as our night was...
Rarity: Being together here has made it all better.
Pinkie Pie: In fact, it's made it...
All: THE BEST NIGHT EVER!
(all laughing)
(ending theme begins) My Little Pony
My Little Pony
(instrumental)
My Little Pony, friends