Rarity: Oh, Opalescence. Can't you just picture it?
Moi, stepping up in an astounding new gown at the Grand Galloping Gala in Canterlot! (Opalescence yawns)
(Opalescence lands on ground and meows)
Rarity: (pretending to converse) Why, yes, I DID make it myself! Thank you SO much for asking.
(Opalescence purring)
(Opalescence growls)
Oh, Opal, of COURSE you can help me. Thank you.
(Opalescence groans)
What's that? You want to help me MORE? Oh, aren't you the sweetest thing?
(Opalescence mews weakly)
Careful, now! Don't move! This shouldn't take long at all.
(Opalescence groans)
(theme song begins) My Little Pony, My Little Pony, ah, ah, ah, ah,
(My Little Pony) Twilight: I used to wonder what friendship could be
(My Little Pony) Until you all shared its magic with me
Rainbow Dash: Big adventure Pinkie Pie: Tons of fun
Rarity: A beautiful heart Applejack: Faithful and strong
Fluttershy: Sharing kindness Twilight: It's an easy feat
All: And magic makes it all complete, yeah
(My Little Pony) Do you know, you're all my very best friends
(knocking)
Applejack: (slams door open) Howdy, Rarity!
Twilight: (whispering) Shh! Can't you see Rarity is trying to concentrate?
Applejack: (whispering) What d'ya think she's makin'?
Twilight: (whispering) Looks like a dress.
Applejack: (whispering) Well, that makes sense, since this is a dressmaker's shop and all. (Rarity sighs)
Rarity: (groans, sweetly) Is there something I can help you with?
Twilight: Oh, so very sorry to trouble you, Rarity, but I need a quick favor.
Could you please fix a button for me?
It's my dress for the Grand Galloping Gala.
Rarity: (gasps) Oh, no no no! You can't wear this... (grimaces) old thing.
You need a glamorous new outfit for the Gala,
and I'll make it for you. No problem at all.
It will be my pleasure!
Twilight: Oh, that's really sweet of you to offer, Rarity,
but I can't let you do that.
It would be so much work. This dress is fine.
Rarity: Twilight Sparkle. I insist on making you a new dress.
Twilight: But- Rarity: No, no, not a word!
I won't take no for an answer.
Twilight: Well, in that case...thank you for your generosity, Rarity.
Applejack: Gown? Shoot, I was just gonna wear my old work duds.
Rarity: (gasps) You can't possibly be serious, Applejack!
You absolutely MUST wear formal attire!
Applejack: Hmm...nah.
Rarity: What if I just spruce up your..."duds" for you a little bit?
Applejack: Um, sure, okay, why not?
Applejack: Since you're offerin' and all. Just don't make 'em too...frou frou-y. Rarity: Deal!
(approaching jet) Rainbow Dash: LOOK OUT BELOW!
(Rainbow Dash screams, crashes several times)
Sorry. New trick. Didn't quite work.
(Rainbow Dash chuckles, Rarity "hmms")
Rarity: (gasps, singsong) Ide~ea!
I'll make YOU an outfit for the Gala too, Rainbow Dash!
Rainbow Dash: ...Outfit for the what now?
Rarity: (gushing) I'll make one for you, and you, and ALL of you! (squeals)
And of course Pinkie and Fluttershy, too.
Oh, and when I'm done, we can hold our very own FASHION SHOW!
Twilight: What a great idea! ...If you're sure you can handle it.
Rarity: Oh, it'll be a little bit of work,
but it'll be a wonderful boost to my business!
Rarity: Plus, FUN! Rainbow Dash: Oh, I love fun things!
Rarity: Then it's settled. We'll have a fashion show starring...US!
(all cheer)
Applejack: So all you have to do is make a different, stunning, original, amazing outfit
for one, two, three, four, five...plus yourself, SIX ponies?
And lickety-split?
Rarity: (self-amused laughter) Oh-ho-ho-ho, Appleja--ha-ha-hack.
You make it sound as if it's going to be hard!
(Art of the Dress song begins)
Rarity: Thread by thread Stitching it together
Twilight's dress Cutting out the pattern, snip by snip
Making sure the fabric folds nicely It's the perfect color and so hip
Always gotta keep in mind my pacing Making sure the clothes correctly facing
I'm stitching Twiliiiight's dreeess
Yard by yard Fussing on the details
Jewel neckline Don't you know, a stitch in time saves nine?
Make her something perfect to inspire Even though she hates formal attire
Gotta mind those intimate details Even though she's more concerned with sales
It's Applejaaaack's neeeew dreeeeess
Dressmaking's easy For Pinkie Pie, something pink
Fluttershy something breezy Blend color and form, do you think it looks cheesy?
(Opalescence mews)
Something brash Perhaps quite fetching
Hook and eye (gushing) Couldn't you just simply DIE?
Making sure it fits forelock and crest Don't forget some magic in the dress
Even though it rides high on the flank Rainbow won't look like a tank
I'm stitching Rainbooooow's dreeeeesss
Piece by piece
Snip by snip
Croup, dock, haunch
Shoulders, hip
Thread by thread
Primmed and pressed
Yard by yard
Never stressed
(crescendo) And that's the Art of the DRESS! (holds note)
(song ends)
Rarity: That's it. Keep them closed.
(singsong) Don't look.
Rarity: (excited) Okay, you can look now! (all except Rarity gasp)
These are your new outfits!
What do you think of your old duds now, Applejack? Pretty swanky, are they not?
And Twilight! I made this dress for you, and I designed each outfit theme to perfectly reflect each pony's unique personality.
Oh, it took me FOREVER to get the colors right on this one, Rainbow Dash, but I did it.
Oh, and it turned out BEAUTIFUL, don't you think?
Oh, and I know you are going to love yours, Fluttershy. It just sings spring!
And Pinkie Pie, look! Pink! Your favorite!
Aren't they all AMAZING?
Twilight: (hesitantly) Wow...they're...
Rainbow Dash: Yeah, they're...
Applejack: They sure are, uh...somethin'... Twilight: (hastily) Yes! Something!
Pinkie Pie: I love "something!" "Something" is my favorite!
Fluttershy: It's...(dejected) nice.
Rarity: (wounded) What's the matter? Don't you like them?
Twilight: (false sincerity) They're very nice.
Applejack: And we're plum grateful 'cause you worked so hard on them.
Rainbow Dash: (tactless) Mine's just not as cool as I was imagining.
(defensively) She asked.
Twilight: (mincing words) I guess what we're all saying is, they're just not what we had in mind.
(collective agreement, Rarity sighs dejectedly)
Rarity: (false reassurance) That's okay! Not a problem!
There's plenty more where that came from.
(dismissively) They were only a first pass.
(adamantly) You're my friends, and I want you to be 110% satisfied.
Not to worry. I'll redo them!
Fluttershy: Oh, Rarity. You don't have to do that. They're fine.
Rarity: I want them to be better than just "fine." I want you to think they're absolutely perfect.
Applejack: Are you sure? I mean, we wouldn't want to impose...
Rarity: (laughing) Oh-ho-ho-ho, it's no imposition.
(nuance of derision) Really, I insist.
Twilight: (oblivious) Well, in that case...thank you again, Rarity!
(Rarity giggles nervously)
Rarity: (anxious) What have I gotten myself into...?
(Opalescence mews)
(sewing machine motor running)
(door opens) Fluttershy: Hello? You wanted to see me, Rarity?
Rarity: (gushing) Fluttershy! Your NEW new gown is ready! I completely revised it and I know you're going to love it!
Rarity: What do you think?
Fluttershy: (hesitantly) I...love it!
Rarity: Oh, you're just saying that.
Fluttershy: No, no, I do. It's...(softly) nice.
Rarity: (prodding) "Nice?"
Fluttershy: (meekly) Nice.
Rarity: (slightly offended) If you don't like it, you should just tell me.
Fluttershy: Oh, but I do like it.
Rarity: Like it or LOVE it?
Fluttershy: (cowed) Um...both?
Rarity: Which is it?! Fluttershy: (meekly) Please stop asking me this, I-
Rarity: Well, just tell me what you really think!
Fluttershy: Oh no, that's okay... Rarity: (losing patience) Tell me!
Fluttershy: No...it's fine... Rarity: (forcefully) Tell me!
Fluttershy: (voice breaking) I-I like it...
Rarity: (frustrated) Tell me, tell me, tellmetellme TELL ME!
Fluttershy: All right...if you REALLY wanna know...
(inhales sharply)
(very rapidly) The armscye is tight, the middy collar doesn't go with the shawl lapel, the hems are clearly machine-stitched,
the pleats are uneven, the fabric looks like toile,
you used a backstitch here when it clearly called for a topstitch or maybe a traditional blanket stitch,
and the overdesign is reminiscent of pret-a-porter and not true French haute couture.
(normal pace, meekly) But uh...you know, um...whatever you wanna do is fine...
(Art of the Dress reprise begins) Twilight: (talking) Now, the stars on my belt need to be technically accurate.
Orion has THREE stars on his belt, not four.
Rarity: (singing) Stitch by stitch Stitching it together
Deadline looms Don't you know the client's always right?
Even if my fabric choice was perfect Gotta get them all done by tonight
Pinkie Pie, the color's too obtrusive Wait until you see it in the light
I'm sewiiiiing them togetheeeer!
(speaking intermission) Pinkie Pie: Don't you think my gown would be more "me" with some lollipops?!
Rarity: (harried) Well, I think- Pinkie Pie: Balloons?!
Rarity: Well- Pinkie Pie: DO IT!
(singing resumes) Chorus: Hour by hour One more change
I'm sewing them together Take great pains
Rarity: (harried singing) Fluttershy, you're putting me in a bind Rainbow Dash, what is on your mind?
Oh my gosh, there's simply not much time Don't forget, Applejack's duds must shiiiiine (percussion flourish)
Dressmaking's easy Every customer's call
Brings a whole new revision Have to pick up the pace, still hold to my vision
(intermission) Twilight: That constellation is Canis MAJOR, not Minor.
Fluttershy: French haute couture, please.
(Rarity grimaces)
Applejack: What if it rains? ...Galoshes!
Pinkie Pie: More balloons! Oh, wait, that's too many balloons.
More candy! Oh, less candy!
Oh wait! I know! STREAMERS!
Rarity: (dumbstruck) ...Streamers?
Pinkie Pie: (insistently) Whose dress is this?
Rarity: (resigned) Streamers it is.
Rainbow Dash: What?
Rarity: Aren't you gonna tell me to change something, too?
Rainbow Dash: No, I just want my dress to be...cool.
Rarity: Do you not like the color?
Rainbow Dash: The color's fine, just...make it look cooler.
Rarity: Do you not like the shape?
Rainbow Dash: The shape's fine, just make the whole thing...you know, cooler.
It needs to be about 20% cooler.
(music swells, singing resumes)
Pinkie Pie: All we really want is indecision Rainbow Dash: All we really like is what we know
Twilight: Gotta balance style with adherence Fluttershy: Making sure we make a good appearance
Applejack: Even if you simply have to fudge it All except Rarity: Make sure that it stays within our budget
Rarity: Got to overcome intimidation Remember, it's all in the presentatioooooooon!
All: Piece by piece
Snip by snip
Croup, dock, haunch
Shoulders, hip
Bolt by bolt
Primmed and pressed
Yard by yard
Always stressed
(crescendo) And that's the Art of the DREEEEEEESS!
(song ends, Rarity faints)
Rarity: Oh, Opal...these are the ugliest dresses I've ever made!
(Rarity sighs wearily)
Rarity: Okay...I did EXACTLY what each of you asked for...
Now don't hold back.
Let me know what you really think. (Opalescence hissing)
Twilight: Oh my! Fluttershy: It's...perfect!
Rainbow Dash: It's cool! Applejack: Wow. (Opalescence gags) They're the best duds I ever did see!
All: It's exactly what I asked for!
(Rarity sighs with relief)
Twilight: Thank you, Rarity. Pinkie Pie: Oh, are you as happy with them as we are? Huh huh huh?
Rarity: (deflecting) Well, I'm...happy that all of you are happy!
I'm just relieved to finally be done.
(door slams open)
Spike: (panting) You are never gonna believe this! You've heard of Hoity-Toity?
Twilight: The bigwig fashion shot in Canterlot?
Spike: Uh-huh! He heard about your fashion show.
Well, maybe I happened to mention it to him...
He's coming HERE, all the way from Canterlot, to see your work, Rarity!
Applejack: Whoa, Nelly! You could sell a ton o'dresses to this guy!
Your business will be boomin'!
(ponies voicing encouragement)
Rarity: (anxious) Hoity-Toity...? He's coming here? To see THESE dresses?
Spike: Yup! Get ready for all your dreams to come true!
(ponies chattering)
Rarity: (to self) Oh...(gasps) There he is!
(ponies chattering in awe)
(haughty clap)
(hyperventilating) Okay. Relax, Rarity.
(voice trembling) Your friends like their outfits and so will he.
(exaggerated scream) What's wrong with the lights?!
(shrieks, nervously) Oh yes...that means the show's starting...good...
(electro jazz)
Spike: (amplified) Since the beginning of time,
have longed for pony fashions
that truly expressed the essence of their very souls.
Patiently waiting decades,
no, CENTURIES,
for the perfect pony gown.
Today, at long last, Equestria, your wait is over!
Let's hear it for the breathtaking designs of Ponyville's own RARITY!
(ponies gasp and chatter)
(ponies voicing disgust incoherently)
Applejack: (whispering) Why's everypony lookin' at us like that?
Twilight: ...Oh dear.
Rainbow Dash: Do you think we overdid it?
Applejack: Nah.
...Okay. Maybe a little.
Hoity-Toity: (snobbish accent) Oh, those amateurish designs look like a piled-on mishmash of everything but a kitchen sink!
(ponies laughing, sink scraping ground)
It's a travesty, is what it is.
Those outfits are the ugliest things I've ever SEEN, oh for shame.
Who is responsible for subjecting our eyes to these HORRORS?!
Not to mention wasting MY valuable time.
Rarity: (to Opalescence) Oh! Hide me!
Spike: Come on out and take a bow, Rarity!
You worked really hard for this. (clapping) Yes! All right! Woohoo! Go, Rarity!
(ponies chattering)
Pinkie Pie: (knocks on door) Rarity...? You okay in there?
You haven't come out for days!
Rarity: (despairing theatrically) I'm NEVER coming out! I can't show my face in Ponyville EVER AGAIN!
I used to be somepony. I used to be respected.
I used to make dresses. Beautiful, beautiful dresses.
(hysterical) But now everypony is laughing at me!
I'm nothing but a laughingstock!
(Rarity sobs ostentatiously) Twilight: You're not a laughingstock, Rarity.
Rainbow Dash: (tactless) She kind of is.
Twilight: (shushing Rainbow Dash) Come on out and talk to us!
Rarity: (sobbing) Leave me alo-ho-ho-ho-ho-ho-hone!
I VANT TO BE ALONE!
I want to wallow in...(rapid histrionics) whatever it is that ponies are supposed to wallow in!
Do ponies wallow in pity?
Oh, LISTEN to me! I don't even know what I'm supposed to WALLOW in!
(sobbing theatrically) I'm so patheti-hi-hi-hic!
Twilight: Now what do we do?
Fluttershy: Uh...panic?
Rainbow Dash: That's your answer for everything!
Applejack: Well, we can't just leave Rarity like this.
Pinkie Pie: She'll become a crazy cat lady!
Twilight: (dryly) She only has one cat.
Pinkie Pie: Give it time...
Twilight: Hmm...
Rarity: (brooding) Exile...I guess technically I'd have to move away to live in exile.
Where would I go? And what would I pack?
Oh, it's going to take me forever to do all of that packing.
What are you supposed to pack when you go into exile?
Are you supposed to pack warm?
(Opalescence mewing) Rarity: (gasps) Opal?!
(Opalescence mews, Rarity opens window)
(Opalescence mewing)
Opal! How did you get up there?!
Hang on, you poor dear! Mama's coming!
(door slams open)
(Rarity gasps)
Rainbow Dash! How DARE you strand my poor Opal in a tree!
Rainbow Dash: Well, how ELSE were we gonna get you out here to show you...THIS!
Rarity: What is it? It's not...you...(gasps)
Pinkie Pie: We all finished your dress for you!
Applejack: Thanks to Fluttershy's freaky knowledge o'sewin'.
Fluttershy: Do you like it?
Rarity: Like it...?
Like it?
Fluttershy: Uh-oh...she doesn't like it...
Rarity: No, I don't like it.
(all groan)
Rarity: (perks up) I LOVE IT!
(all cheer)
Rarity: You ponies did an AMAZING job. It's exactly the way I imagined it.
Fluttershy: We just followed your brilliant design.
Twilight: Like we should've let you do for OUR outfits.
Those first dresses you designed were perfect.
Pinkie Pie: We're so super-sorry.
Rainbow Dash: You worked really hard to make our dresses exactly the way we wanted them.
And we all saw how well THAT turned out.
Rarity: Oh, I forgive you.
Applejack: Well, that's mighty big o'you.
Rarity: (theatrical whining) But my whole career is still ruined!
Applejack: Oh...right. That.
Twilight: Maybe not.
Hoity-Toity: Oh, all right. I haven't got all day.
(Opalescence purring noisily)
Hoity-Toity: Take two.
(curtains draw shut)
(electronic remix of theme from "2001: A Space Odyssey" followed by trance)
Hoity-Toity: Hello. Oh, this can't be the same designer.
(banjo accompanies tune)
Simply MAGNIFICENT!
And I suddenly have a craving for some Dutch apple pie.
Candied apples on a stick? Apple turnovers? Apple cobbler?
(light, percussion-heavy)
Brilliant!
(thunder crashing)
(driving bassline)
Oh, spectacular!
(ethereal accompaniment)
(clapping) Now, THIS is a fashion show!
All of these dresses are absolutely AMAZING!
Who is responsible? Step forward, show yourself!
Bravo! Bravo! (clapping) Magnifico! Oh boy! (music swells to crescendo)
Rarity: Oh, thank you. Thank you! (squealing) Oh, thank you so much!
Twilight: (voice-over) "Dear Princess Celestia,
This week my very talented friend Rarity learned that if you try to please everypony,
you oftentimes end up pleasing nopony, especially yourself.
And I learned this: When somepony offers to do you a favor,
like making you a beautiful dress,
you shouldn't be overly critical of something generously given to you.
In other words, you shouldn't look a gift horse in the mouth."
(Twilight giggles)
(Spike inhales, breathes fire)
Hoity-Toity: Rarity, my congratulations on a most impressive fashion debut.
Would you do me the great honor of allowing me to feature your couture in my best of the best boutique in Canterlot?
(Rarity gasps)
Hoity-Toity: Now, I'll need you to make a dozen of each dress for me by next Tuesday.
(Rarity doubletakes, quivers)
(ending theme begins) My Little Pony
My Little Pony
(instrumental)
My Little Pony, friends