1
00:01:57,697 --> 00:01:59,631
I tell you, you've got nothing
to worry about.
2
00:01:59,733 --> 00:02:01,633
- The plane is perfectly safe.
- Can I have... -
3
00:02:01,735 --> 00:02:04,727
- It ran a little low on gas when it got
into all that fog, that's all.
- Thank you.
4
00:02:04,838 --> 00:02:07,807
So they had to set down in... -
Give me that one again, Max.
5
00:02:07,908 --> 00:02:10,775
A rooster? Oh, Aroostook.
6
00:02:10,877 --> 00:02:15,177
Aroostook. And where is Aroostook
supposing to be it shouldn't happen?
7
00:02:15,282 --> 00:02:17,011
It's in the general neighborhood
of Nova Scotia.
8
00:02:17,117 --> 00:02:20,109
And from this general neighborhood,
maybe you can tell me...
9
00:02:20,220 --> 00:02:23,519
how tonight at philharmonic
he is a concert conducting?
10
00:02:23,623 --> 00:02:25,614
By "telewision,"I am presuming.
11
00:02:25,725 --> 00:02:28,023
Is it a very bad fog?
12
00:02:28,128 --> 00:02:30,790
- Make him tell me the truth, Hugo.
- Of course it ain't.
13
00:02:30,897 --> 00:02:33,832
- Don't worry, honey.
- It's hardly a fog at all, madam.
14
00:02:33,934 --> 00:02:36,300
It's... - It's more of a mist, really.
More of a... -
15
00:02:36,403 --> 00:02:39,736
- Yes, Max?
- Just something to make the engines run better.
16
00:02:39,840 --> 00:02:41,831
- Don't worry, darling.
- Correction, please.
17
00:02:41,942 --> 00:02:44,968
- What is it?
- It was not Aroostook. It was Antigonish.
18
00:02:45,078 --> 00:02:47,876
And where is this mudhole,
if I ain't too optimistic?
19
00:02:47,981 --> 00:02:50,506
In the general neighborhood
of Nova Scotia, I believe.
20
00:02:50,617 --> 00:02:53,484
- What a neighborhood.
- Hugo, do try to find out.
21
00:02:53,587 --> 00:02:55,487
- Correction, please.
- Shh.
22
00:02:55,589 --> 00:02:57,955
It turns out it wasn't Antigonish after all.
23
00:02:58,058 --> 00:03:01,050
It was Apohaqui.
And it didn't get there, it left there.
24
00:03:01,161 --> 00:03:04,153
- Apohaqui!
- Then where is it now?
25
00:03:04,264 --> 00:03:06,892
In the general neighborhood of Nova Scotia.
Where else?
26
00:03:07,000 --> 00:03:08,900
Far, far from it, my friend.
27
00:03:09,002 --> 00:03:11,562
As a matter of fact, there it is, coming in...
28
00:03:11,671 --> 00:03:13,571
- Hooray!
- Directly behind you right now.
29
00:03:13,673 --> 00:03:17,006
- What an airline.
- There is one reassuring thing about airplanes...
30
00:03:17,110 --> 00:03:19,840
- they always come down.
- Come on, stupid.
31
00:03:22,649 --> 00:03:26,881
Am I glad to see you, Alfie.
Again Wolfgang is sick.
32
00:03:26,987 --> 00:03:30,753
So our concert got to be shoved up.
Tonight we are giving it yet.
33
00:03:30,857 --> 00:03:32,757
Did you think of me every night?
34
00:03:32,859 --> 00:03:34,827
Of course I did, my love.
35
00:03:34,928 --> 00:03:36,828
Did you take my picture to bed with you?
36
00:03:36,930 --> 00:03:38,830
Of course I did, my darling.
37
00:03:38,932 --> 00:03:42,766
Are they kidding? If she wasn't my own sister,
I'd have a name for her that'd make... -
38
00:03:42,869 --> 00:03:44,769
Dream of me after you went to sleep?
39
00:03:44,871 --> 00:03:47,567
Every single night, my love.
40
00:03:47,674 --> 00:03:52,577
- Only I... - I didn't sleep very well.
- Will somebody get me an ice pack?
41
00:03:52,679 --> 00:03:54,738
Put 'em back on your nose
and learn something.
42
00:03:54,848 --> 00:03:57,578
At least did you get some rest
on the plane last night?
43
00:03:57,684 --> 00:03:59,652
- Frankly, not a particle.
- Oh.
44
00:03:59,753 --> 00:04:02,051
Then I'm going to take you
right straight home...
45
00:04:02,155 --> 00:04:04,055
put you into a nice hot tub... -
46
00:04:04,157 --> 00:04:06,057
I really don't think
they ought to do this in public.
47
00:04:06,159 --> 00:04:08,559
Of course, it's better to do it in public
than not to do it at all.
48
00:04:08,662 --> 00:04:10,562
And then we'll have our little nap.
49
00:04:10,664 --> 00:04:15,067
And then I'll wake you up with a nice
frosted bottle of brut champagne.
50
00:04:15,168 --> 00:04:17,068
I found same Pol Roger '34.
51
00:04:17,170 --> 00:04:19,798
- And then... -
- You see, some men just naturally...
52
00:04:19,906 --> 00:04:22,466
make you think of brut champagne.
53
00:04:22,576 --> 00:04:25,238
With others, you think of prune juice.
54
00:04:25,345 --> 00:04:27,472
You have nothing to laugh at.
55
00:04:27,581 --> 00:04:30,482
So then you'll go down
and rehearse your men.
56
00:04:30,584 --> 00:04:32,916
- Oughtn't that to be time enough, Hugo?
- Look...
57
00:04:33,019 --> 00:04:35,647
it ain't as if you was
a rehearser anyway.
58
00:04:35,755 --> 00:04:39,919
He's a hypnotist. Out of what dogs
have I seen him coax it out of.
59
00:04:40,026 --> 00:04:42,688
Of course it'll be soon enough.
It's the men who really count.
60
00:04:42,796 --> 00:04:46,425
All I do is wave a little wand a little,
and out comes the music.
61
00:04:46,533 --> 00:04:50,765
A little magic wand, darling,
dipped in a little stardust.
62
00:05:04,884 --> 00:05:08,581
Don't that drive you nuts, always leaving
you hanging up on the meat hook like that?
63
00:05:08,688 --> 00:05:11,122
I confess, it is quite irritating, sir.
64
00:05:12,859 --> 00:05:15,555
I suppose I ought to wake him up
if he's gonna see anyone before the concerts.
65
00:05:15,662 --> 00:05:18,927
Oh, give him a couple of minutes.
Ain't you ever been in love?
66
00:05:19,032 --> 00:05:22,092
♪ Da, da, da, da, da, dee ♪
67
00:05:22,202 --> 00:05:24,500
♪ Da, da, da, dee ♪
68
00:05:31,544 --> 00:05:35,537
- I'm so sorry.
- Oh, isn't it customary to knock
before coming into a bedroom?
69
00:05:35,649 --> 00:05:37,708
- Or am I just old-fashioned?
- I did knock, Sir Alfred.
70
00:05:37,817 --> 00:05:41,048
- Extremely sorry. I didn't hear you.
- I just wanted to make sure you were awake...
71
00:05:41,154 --> 00:05:43,782
and ask you what to do about
the morning delegation of crackpots.
72
00:05:43,890 --> 00:05:45,653
Oh, dear.
73
00:05:45,759 --> 00:05:48,319
Among them a lady reporter who wants
to know why you conduct with a stick.
74
00:05:48,428 --> 00:05:50,362
What's she expect me to use,
an umbrella?
75
00:05:50,463 --> 00:05:53,489
- She says Stokie uses just his hands.
- Ah, but they're so beautiful.
76
00:05:53,600 --> 00:05:58,503
So large. So white. So free and easy on the draw.
Mine look more like nutcrackers.
77
00:05:58,605 --> 00:06:00,869
- Here, darling.
- Thank you, sweetheart.
78
00:06:00,974 --> 00:06:03,067
She also wants to know why
you conduct from a score.
79
00:06:03,176 --> 00:06:06,202
Because I can actually read music.
I also play an instrument, the flageolet.
80
00:06:06,312 --> 00:06:08,212
- Don't forget to tell her that.
- Certainly, Sir Alfred.
81
00:06:08,314 --> 00:06:10,214
- I'll get you a light.
- Thanks.
82
00:06:10,316 --> 00:06:12,978
Also, Mr. Pedasta, your concert master,
would like to discuss with you...
83
00:06:13,086 --> 00:06:16,886
the fingering in the fourth, fifth
and sixth bars before letter "H';...
84
00:06:16,990 --> 00:06:19,220
in the Tannhaeuser overture.
85
00:06:19,325 --> 00:06:22,089
Oh, dear. The fingering's standard.
What's the matter with him?
86
00:06:22,195 --> 00:06:24,959
He says because it's the Paris version
with the Venusberg music.
87
00:06:25,065 --> 00:06:27,090
- Do you want the French fingering?
- That old story.
88
00:06:27,200 --> 00:06:29,668
Tell Mr. Pedasta I'll walk with him
to the rehearsal and discuss it on the way.
89
00:06:29,769 --> 00:06:31,669
- I've got to get dressed now.
- Certainly, Sir Alfred.
90
00:06:31,771 --> 00:06:33,671
Then there is a citizen
who wants you to endow...
91
00:06:33,773 --> 00:06:36,742
the De Carter Foundation
for the Diffusion of Serious Music.
92
00:06:36,843 --> 00:06:39,676
Well, throw him out.
Nothing serious about music.
93
00:06:39,779 --> 00:06:42,247
It should be enjoyed flat on the back
with a sandwich in one hand...
94
00:06:42,348 --> 00:06:45,181
and a bucket of beer in the other
and as many pretty girls around as possible.
95
00:06:45,285 --> 00:06:48,083
- Oh, Tony, if you repeat one word of this stuff.
- I won't.
96
00:06:50,557 --> 00:06:53,151
You know, the only trouble with you is
I never feel like getting up...
97
00:06:53,259 --> 00:06:55,159
I never feel like getting dressed...
98
00:06:55,261 --> 00:06:58,526
I never feel like going out into the world
to wrestle it and bring it to its knees.
99
00:06:58,631 --> 00:07:02,795
I think the successful, energetic men must all
have been married to women who looked like... -
100
00:07:02,902 --> 00:07:05,496
Oh. Well, I will now leap
into a cold shower.
101
00:07:08,174 --> 00:07:10,142
I'll take it.
102
00:07:16,883 --> 00:07:18,783
Some flowers for Lady de Carter.
103
00:07:18,885 --> 00:07:21,820
- Oh, how nice.
- I'll take 'em.
104
00:07:21,921 --> 00:07:23,821
Say... - Oh, there you are.
105
00:07:23,923 --> 00:07:25,823
- Give him a dollar, Hugo.
- A dollar?
106
00:07:25,925 --> 00:07:28,792
Well, it's only 62 and one-half cents,
you know, at the moment.
107
00:07:28,895 --> 00:07:31,159
- There's 62 and a half cents for you.
- Thank you, Sir Alfred.
108
00:07:31,264 --> 00:07:33,164
I'll pretend it's a dollar.
109
00:07:33,266 --> 00:07:36,599
I wonder who sent her these.
110
00:07:36,703 --> 00:07:39,831
Why don't you grab yourself a look
and treat yourself to a surprise?
111
00:07:39,939 --> 00:07:42,567
'Cause it's none of my business.
They're probably from some poor devil...
112
00:07:42,675 --> 00:07:46,543
who was madly in love with her,
nearly perished when she married me...
113
00:07:46,646 --> 00:07:49,080
and once a year, on the anniversary
of their last farewell...
114
00:07:49,182 --> 00:07:51,548
sends her this little bunch of snapdragons.
115
00:07:51,651 --> 00:07:54,950
- Or could they be hollyhocks?
- In this box it could be a skeleton.
116
00:07:55,054 --> 00:07:58,581
- He could've sent himself.
- Don't be gruesome, Hugo.
117
00:07:58,691 --> 00:08:01,922
- Oh, I see they came, Sir Alfred.
- Hmm?
118
00:08:02,028 --> 00:08:03,928
I tried to get all long-stemmed roses...
119
00:08:04,030 --> 00:08:06,089
but they must have filled out
with a few chrysanthemums.
120
00:08:06,199 --> 00:08:09,066
Oh, these are the flowers that I... - Lovely!
121
00:08:09,169 --> 00:08:11,069
That you asked me to send
on the way in this morning.
122
00:08:11,171 --> 00:08:14,197
- Of course.
- I scratched out the name on one of your cards...
123
00:08:14,307 --> 00:08:17,333
and wrote instead, "For my love."
124
00:08:17,443 --> 00:08:19,343
Remarkably efficient.
Thank you very much.
125
00:08:19,445 --> 00:08:21,777
And have this razor honed for me, will you?
126
00:08:21,881 --> 00:08:24,441
- It's duller than one of my brother-in-law's jokes.
- Certainly, Sir Alfred.
127
00:08:24,551 --> 00:08:27,645
- Mr. Henschler is on his way up, by the way.
- Oh, what does he want?
128
00:08:27,754 --> 00:08:30,814
- He did not inform me.
- I've already seen him once today.
129
00:08:30,924 --> 00:08:33,859
I mean, just 'cause he's married
to my wife's sister doesn't entitle him to... -
130
00:08:33,960 --> 00:08:38,260
- Really, what a bore he is.
- Look, he's got one hundred million dollars.
131
00:08:38,364 --> 00:08:41,094
Don't be expecting also Mickey Mouse.
132
00:08:41,201 --> 00:08:43,635
I have a few million myself, you know.
It doesn't entitle me to... -
133
00:08:43,736 --> 00:08:47,570
You ain't got a hundred million.
It's that last zither that cooks the goose.
134
00:08:47,674 --> 00:08:52,634
That miser. Every fur coat he gives his wife
he inherited from his grandmother.
135
00:08:52,745 --> 00:08:55,908
Every pearl from his aunt.
Every diamond from his blasted... -
136
00:08:56,015 --> 00:08:59,280
- Stop. You're breaking my heart.
- It's silly of me to allow him to annoy me so...
137
00:08:59,385 --> 00:09:04,186
but do I haunt his hotel constantly
sending messages I'm on my way up to see him?
138
00:09:04,290 --> 00:09:06,952
Do I use the vaguest of all relationships...
139
00:09:07,060 --> 00:09:10,086
two strangers who marry sisters,
as a wedge for the purpose of... -
140
00:09:10,196 --> 00:09:12,164
Mr. August Henschler, sir.
141
00:09:14,601 --> 00:09:16,899
Good morning again, August.
I've never seen you looking better.
142
00:09:17,003 --> 00:09:20,734
- Well, I, uh... -
- Do you want to see me alone or in committee?
143
00:09:20,840 --> 00:09:22,865
Or is it really necessary
for you to see me at all?
144
00:09:22,976 --> 00:09:25,501
Well, if it wouldn't be too much trouble... -
Good morning.
145
00:09:25,612 --> 00:09:28,445
How do you do?
Remember, you have a lot of other jerks...
146
00:09:28,548 --> 00:09:31,415
waiting for you in front room
after you get through in here.
147
00:09:31,517 --> 00:09:34,145
I'll take the razor down to the barbershop.
148
00:09:34,254 --> 00:09:38,054
Now, my dear August,
what happy updraft wafts you hither?
149
00:09:38,157 --> 00:09:41,149
Thank you.
Now let me see. How to begin.
150
00:09:41,261 --> 00:09:43,889
- At the beginning.
- Yes, quite so.
151
00:09:43,997 --> 00:09:47,296
You are no doubt aware, Alfred,
that I have a deep sense of family obligation.
152
00:09:47,400 --> 00:09:49,300
I wasn't aware of it,
but I'm willing to take your word for it.
153
00:09:49,402 --> 00:09:51,666
- We are brothers-in-law, aren't we?
- I'm afraid we are.
154
00:09:51,771 --> 00:09:53,671
There's not a blasted thing
we can do about it.
155
00:09:53,773 --> 00:09:56,765
Oh? It may come as quite a shook to you
to realize that I don't actually relish...
156
00:09:56,876 --> 00:09:58,844
being your brother-in-law
any more than you relish being mine.
157
00:09:58,945 --> 00:10:00,412
- No?
- Yes.
158
00:10:00,513 --> 00:10:04,313
In the first place, I hate music,
which doesn't relieve me from having to snore...
159
00:10:04,417 --> 00:10:06,544
through every confounded soiree
that you promulgate.
160
00:10:06,653 --> 00:10:08,553
- Soiree.
- Precisely.
161
00:10:08,655 --> 00:10:10,850
And in the second place,
I am embarrassed about the product...
162
00:10:10,957 --> 00:10:12,857
that your family made its money out of.
163
00:10:12,959 --> 00:10:16,258
- And in the third place... -
- Just as good as sucking mortgages,
if you should happen to ask me.
164
00:10:16,362 --> 00:10:19,923
It may be, but I prefer mortgages.
And lastly, as a humble American...
165
00:10:20,033 --> 00:10:22,433
the only titles that I have any use for...
166
00:10:22,535 --> 00:10:24,935
are in my vault in
the Guaranty Title and Trust Company.
167
00:10:25,038 --> 00:10:26,938
I see. Well, you have
my deepest sympathy, August...
168
00:10:27,040 --> 00:10:29,099
but I am a baronet, I am a bandleader...
169
00:10:29,208 --> 00:10:32,939
and my family's product has
kept England on time since Waterloo.
170
00:10:33,046 --> 00:10:37,107
There it is. Now, if I may inquire again
for the reason for this happy visitation.
171
00:10:37,216 --> 00:10:39,616
I'll come to the point at once.
When you left for England...
172
00:10:39,719 --> 00:10:41,914
and asked me to keep an eye
on your wife during your absence... -
173
00:10:42,021 --> 00:10:44,546
- Keep an eye on my wife?
- I naturally accepted in the same spirit...
174
00:10:44,657 --> 00:10:47,455
that I'd expect you to display
had I asked you to keep an eye on my wife...
175
00:10:47,560 --> 00:10:51,052
- while taking off, let us say, for Zanzibar.
- When are you leaving?
176
00:10:51,164 --> 00:10:53,064
- I said "if."
- Oh.
177
00:10:53,166 --> 00:10:55,327
What I didn't know, and I don't see
very well how I could have...
178
00:10:55,435 --> 00:10:59,030
was that my dear mother, who is probably
public hypochondriac number one...
179
00:10:59,138 --> 00:11:01,470
would wire me the same day asking
me to join her in Palm Beach...
180
00:11:01,574 --> 00:11:04,407
- because of a slight indisposition.
- Oh, I'm distressed to hear it.
181
00:11:04,510 --> 00:11:06,410
I suppose she's related
to me also in some way.
182
00:11:06,512 --> 00:11:08,446
- So faintly it's hardly worth mentioning.
- Good.
183
00:11:08,548 --> 00:11:10,539
- I'm sorry anyway.
- Oh, we're quite used to it.
184
00:11:10,650 --> 00:11:12,550
If it isn't one part of her that's ailing,
it's another.
185
00:11:12,652 --> 00:11:15,780
And she seems to have so many parts,
for a woman of her age, that is.
186
00:11:15,888 --> 00:11:18,789
However, to return to our muttons... -
you asked me to keep an eye on your wife...
187
00:11:18,891 --> 00:11:22,156
and I assure you that had it been possible
for me to do so, I would gladly have done so.
188
00:11:22,261 --> 00:11:26,220
I don't doubt it for a second. But if it was
any trouble, or inconvenient in any way... -
189
00:11:26,332 --> 00:11:28,232
Nothing is too much trouble
for the busy man.
190
00:11:28,334 --> 00:11:31,735
If you ever want anything done, always ask
the busy man. The others never have time.
191
00:11:31,838 --> 00:11:34,568
Now, you asked me to keep an eye on your wife,
and I assure you that... -
192
00:11:34,674 --> 00:11:38,735
You keep repeating "keep an eye on your wife,"
as if it had some special meaning.
193
00:11:38,845 --> 00:11:42,542
I don't know that you're leading up to,
but for some reason I feel my back hair rising.
194
00:11:42,648 --> 00:11:46,106
Well, you see Alfred, being a little nearsighted,
I couldn't keep an eye on her from Palm Beach.
195
00:11:46,219 --> 00:11:48,119
Nevertheless, I did not fail you.
196
00:11:48,221 --> 00:11:50,883
Again, something's happening
to my back hair.
197
00:11:50,990 --> 00:11:54,619
I don't recollect saying anything to you
at the airport except possibly good-bye.
198
00:11:54,727 --> 00:11:58,686
But if I did say keep an eye on my wife for me,
I meant see if she's lonely some evening.
199
00:11:58,798 --> 00:12:00,857
And if she is, take her to the movies,
you and Barbara.
200
00:12:00,967 --> 00:12:03,663
But you didn't say that.
You said, "Keep an eye on my wife for me."
201
00:12:03,770 --> 00:12:06,364
Well, supposing I did,
how could you do it from Palm Beach?
202
00:12:06,472 --> 00:12:08,702
- With detectives.
- With detectives.
203
00:12:10,309 --> 00:12:13,904
With detectives!
You stuffed moron!
204
00:12:14,013 --> 00:12:17,608
Control yourself, Alfred. Control yourself. This
is entirely uncalled for. Kindly release my scarf.
205
00:12:17,717 --> 00:12:21,346
You dare to inform me you had
vulgar footpads in snap-brim fedoras...
206
00:12:21,454 --> 00:12:23,354
sluicing after my beautiful wife?
207
00:12:23,456 --> 00:12:26,516
I believe it's called "sleuthing."
Kindly let go of my shirt. You're tearing it.
208
00:12:26,626 --> 00:12:28,958
There's nothing to be so upset about.
I merely had her tailed.
209
00:12:29,062 --> 00:12:31,462
You merely had her what?
I give you my solemn word, August...
210
00:12:31,564 --> 00:12:34,795
if I don't regain control of myself
in a few minutes, concert or no concert...
211
00:12:34,901 --> 00:12:39,099
I'll take this candelabrum, and I'll beat that walnut
you use for a head into a nutburger...
212
00:12:39,205 --> 00:12:41,765
- I believe they're called.
- Please try to k-k-keep cool, Alfred.
213
00:12:41,874 --> 00:12:44,206
K-K-Keep cool, Alfred, my sainted aunt!
I am outraged!
214
00:12:44,310 --> 00:12:46,938
- Please, Alfred.
- Low as my opinion has always been of you...
215
00:12:47,046 --> 00:12:49,674
little as I ever expected of chivalry
or even common dignity...
216
00:12:49,782 --> 00:12:52,012
today you've sunk below even yourself.
217
00:12:52,118 --> 00:12:54,780
This is the sewer,
the nadir of good manners.
218
00:12:54,887 --> 00:12:57,014
I really think you're exaggerating
a little, Alfred.
219
00:12:57,123 --> 00:12:59,785
I've always used detectives to some extent,
and so has my whole family.
220
00:12:59,892 --> 00:13:02,986
One of my aunts even married one,
although I admit she was elderly at the time.
221
00:13:03,096 --> 00:13:07,157
Then your whole family is contaminated. No man
who employs detectives should ever be disappointed.
222
00:13:07,266 --> 00:13:09,291
I hope every time
you've engaged these vermin...
223
00:13:09,402 --> 00:13:13,031
you've discovered that you had antlers out to here,
that you were the laughingstock of the city...
224
00:13:13,139 --> 00:13:15,607
that you came crawling out
of the agency, your face aflame...
225
00:13:15,708 --> 00:13:19,200
your briefcase stuffed with
undeniable evidence of your multiple betrayal...
226
00:13:19,312 --> 00:13:22,440
dishonor dripping from your ears
like garlands of seaweed.
227
00:13:22,548 --> 00:13:24,880
I forgive your insults on the grounds
that you are excited.
228
00:13:24,984 --> 00:13:27,282
I forbid you to forgive me anything
on any grounds whatsoever...
229
00:13:27,386 --> 00:13:29,286
and I may still punch you
in the nose at any instant!
230
00:13:29,388 --> 00:13:32,380
Get out of here and never speak to me
again unless it's in some public place...
231
00:13:32,492 --> 00:13:35,154
where your silence might cause comment
or embarrassment to our wives!
232
00:13:35,261 --> 00:13:37,786
Oh, dear.
233
00:13:37,897 --> 00:13:40,798
I don't imagine that you'd be much interested
in the operator's report.
234
00:13:40,900 --> 00:13:43,596
- Yes, I would!
- Although it contained a couple of passages...
235
00:13:43,703 --> 00:13:45,603
- that I, for one... -
- That you for one what?
236
00:13:45,705 --> 00:13:47,696
Now get out of here
before I do the same to you.
237
00:13:47,807 --> 00:13:51,265
I suppose I'll see you at the concert this evening.
I've already bought two tickets.
238
00:13:51,377 --> 00:13:54,744
I suppose so.
I'm usually there on the nights I conduct.
239
00:13:54,847 --> 00:13:56,747
I see.
240
00:14:37,056 --> 00:14:40,423
What is that supposed to be?
You angel.
241
00:14:40,526 --> 00:14:43,893
It's supposed to contain flowers.
It might easily turn out to be a rowing machine.
242
00:14:43,996 --> 00:14:46,487
You sweet love.
243
00:14:46,599 --> 00:14:51,434
Well, I just wonder where we're going
to find anything big enough to put them in.
244
00:14:51,537 --> 00:14:55,974
- I wonder if the kitchen would have anything.
- You really do love me, don't you?
245
00:14:56,075 --> 00:14:59,772
- What?
- You really do love me, don't you?
246
00:14:59,879 --> 00:15:02,746
I don't know what I'd be doing here if I didn't.
247
00:15:02,848 --> 00:15:05,043
I don't either.
248
00:15:05,151 --> 00:15:08,279
By the way, you didn't do anything
you shouldn't while I was away, did you?
249
00:15:08,387 --> 00:15:11,447
I mean, like, falling in love with anyone else,
or anything like that.
250
00:15:11,557 --> 00:15:16,153
How could I fall in love with anyone else
when you took my heart with you?
251
00:15:17,196 --> 00:15:20,188
No man ever had a better answer than that.
252
00:15:20,299 --> 00:15:22,824
Will you meet me at La Lotte's about 1:00
on the way to lunch?
253
00:15:22,935 --> 00:15:25,335
- La Lotte's? What for?
- 'Cause you haven't a thing to wear.
254
00:15:25,438 --> 00:15:28,032
I'd like to buy you a little something.
Would you do that for me?
255
00:15:28,140 --> 00:15:31,405
- But, darling, I have closets full of... -
- And then lunch with me?
256
00:15:31,510 --> 00:15:35,071
Of course I will. But I don't really need a thing.
257
00:15:35,181 --> 00:15:38,947
- I have... -
- It says here in very small type.
258
00:15:39,051 --> 00:15:41,417
- I'll see you at La Lotte's.
- All right, darling.
259
00:16:30,569 --> 00:16:34,528
And now, gentlemen, merely to follow
the wishes clearly expressed by the composer...
260
00:16:34,640 --> 00:16:37,404
pizzicato con molto vibrato.
261
00:16:37,510 --> 00:16:39,603
Like a dentist chipping out an old filling.
262
00:18:58,617 --> 00:19:00,949
Keep playing, gentlemen.
I don't want to waste your time.
263
00:19:01,053 --> 00:19:03,112
- Dr. Schultz.
- Yes, Sir Alfred?
264
00:19:03,222 --> 00:19:05,520
Yours is my favorite instrument
in the entire orchestra.
265
00:19:05,624 --> 00:19:07,854
I've been looking at you,
but I can't hear you.
266
00:19:09,862 --> 00:19:12,922
I was afraid of being a little loud, Sir Alfred.
You know, vulgar.
267
00:19:15,935 --> 00:19:19,336
As a small boy I was learned always
never to be vulgar.
268
00:19:19,438 --> 00:19:23,534
Be vulgar, by all means,
but let me hear that brazen laugh.
269
00:20:08,821 --> 00:20:11,255
Okay. Follow your nose to first door...
270
00:20:11,357 --> 00:20:13,450
open door, walk through,
come to wall, stop.
271
00:20:20,699 --> 00:20:22,599
Shh.
272
00:21:28,601 --> 00:21:31,297
Splendid, gentlemen. Splendid.
It's already much too good for them.
273
00:21:32,972 --> 00:21:35,702
Besides which I've got an appointment
with a beautiful young lady.
274
00:21:35,808 --> 00:21:38,003
I'll see you later.
275
00:21:46,919 --> 00:21:49,251
This gentleman says
he has something for you.
276
00:21:49,355 --> 00:21:52,188
- He's from the hotel.
- And I ain't a gentleman. I'm the detective there.
277
00:21:52,291 --> 00:21:55,556
- You remember me, don't you, Sir Alfred?
- Yes, I think I've seen you skulking around.
278
00:21:55,661 --> 00:21:57,629
You're what's known
as the house dick, aren't you?
279
00:21:57,730 --> 00:21:59,630
That's me.
Can I see you alone a minute?
280
00:21:59,732 --> 00:22:01,632
I suppose so. I shan't enjoy it.
281
00:22:01,734 --> 00:22:03,634
Hot work.
282
00:22:03,736 --> 00:22:06,899
I'd like to make this alone,
if it's all the same to you, buddy.
283
00:22:07,006 --> 00:22:09,304
Oh, very well.
284
00:22:09,408 --> 00:22:11,535
- Beautiful music, sir.
- Thank you.
285
00:22:11,644 --> 00:22:13,544
Just beautiful.
286
00:22:15,614 --> 00:22:18,276
Thank you very much, Jules.
287
00:22:18,384 --> 00:22:20,375
Now what do you want?
I'm sorry to sound sharp...
288
00:22:20,486 --> 00:22:23,319
but I feel extremely unsympathetic
towards all detectives this morning.
289
00:22:23,422 --> 00:22:25,322
All in the line of duty for me, boss.
290
00:22:25,424 --> 00:22:28,860
Just shows you the kind of service
we're giving you at the Towers, that's all.
291
00:22:28,961 --> 00:22:32,624
We don't know just how it got in the hall.
We're investigating that.
292
00:22:32,731 --> 00:22:34,790
But we found it and saved it for you.
293
00:22:34,900 --> 00:22:37,130
It's a detective's operator's report.
294
00:22:37,236 --> 00:22:40,171
- I glued it together myself.
- I see.
295
00:22:41,206 --> 00:22:44,300
- You, uh, read it, I presume?
- Just enough to glue it together.
296
00:22:44,410 --> 00:22:47,470
I see. You concluded
that when I tear papers up into small bits...
297
00:22:47,579 --> 00:22:50,742
and throw the bits into a wastebasket
and kick the wastebasket out of the door...
298
00:22:50,849 --> 00:22:53,716
it's because I wish to keep the papers
that go to make up the document, correct?
299
00:22:53,819 --> 00:22:57,721
Well, we didn't know, Sir Alfred.
The head maid seen this basket come flying out...
300
00:22:57,823 --> 00:23:00,314
and she called me,
and I just used my own judgment, that's all.
301
00:23:00,426 --> 00:23:04,556
Very astute. Do you customarily shove your nose
this deep into other people's business?
302
00:23:04,663 --> 00:23:07,461
- Look, boss, as far as I'm concerned... -
- Have you a match, at least?
303
00:23:07,566 --> 00:23:09,761
- Huh?
- A match. One of those little wooden things...
304
00:23:09,868 --> 00:23:11,768
that you strike on the side of a box.
305
00:23:11,870 --> 00:23:13,770
- Yes, sir.
- Light it, please.
306
00:23:13,872 --> 00:23:15,840
Yes, sir.
307
00:23:15,941 --> 00:23:18,739
Now get it going well.
That's fine.
308
00:23:18,844 --> 00:23:20,744
Now hold it steady.
309
00:23:21,880 --> 00:23:24,849
- Nix, boss.
- You see? It was very important to me.
310
00:23:24,950 --> 00:23:26,781
Cut it out, boss.
Take it easy, will you?
311
00:23:26,885 --> 00:23:29,945
- I hope you don't know any way
of bringing it back to life this time.
- No, sir.
312
00:23:30,055 --> 00:23:31,955
Now watch closely.
313
00:23:32,057 --> 00:23:35,117
You see? Now why don't you
go back to your work at the hotel.
314
00:23:35,227 --> 00:23:37,218
There may be
some important things for you to do...
315
00:23:37,329 --> 00:23:39,854
like spying on decent people
through looking through keyholes...
316
00:23:39,965 --> 00:23:42,195
and standing on ladders
and picking through the garbage.
317
00:23:42,301 --> 00:23:44,895
Look, boss, I'm sorry.
I only meant to... -
318
00:23:45,003 --> 00:23:47,028
Look out!
319
00:23:48,073 --> 00:23:51,600
Ow! Ow! I'll get something.
320
00:23:51,710 --> 00:23:55,942
- You'd better come out, Jules.
There's been a bit of trouble here.
- I'll get the extinguisher, sir.
321
00:24:15,534 --> 00:24:17,468
Turn on the water!
322
00:24:17,569 --> 00:24:19,662
I am turning it on.
323
00:24:38,123 --> 00:24:41,024
Watch what you're doing!
324
00:24:41,126 --> 00:24:43,617
I'll be careful.
325
00:24:44,863 --> 00:24:46,922
Bring it over here.
326
00:24:47,032 --> 00:24:49,125
Not over there!
Over here!
327
00:24:52,404 --> 00:24:54,702
I've got it!
328
00:24:58,010 --> 00:25:01,912
Wonderful. Beautiful.
329
00:25:02,948 --> 00:25:05,075
Would you take the telephone, please?
It's Sir Alfred.
330
00:25:05,184 --> 00:25:07,652
- Oh, thank you.
- What a lollipop.
331
00:25:07,753 --> 00:25:11,189
Hello. Hello, sweetie love.
Where are you? You're late.
332
00:25:11,290 --> 00:25:13,554
I'm dreadfully sorry.
There's been a little excitement down here.
333
00:25:13,659 --> 00:25:15,786
I'll join you as soon
as I get into some dry trousers.
334
00:25:15,894 --> 00:25:19,330
Darling, I can't hear a thing you're saying
with all those bells going off.
335
00:25:19,431 --> 00:25:21,365
Some silly ass set fire to my dressing room.
336
00:25:21,466 --> 00:25:24,663
Uh, who'd you say set fire to it?
337
00:25:24,770 --> 00:25:26,829
No. He set fire to it himself.
338
00:25:26,939 --> 00:25:28,839
- Insurance.
- Oh, shh.
339
00:25:28,941 --> 00:25:31,136
I said if you see anything pretty,
be sure to buy it.
340
00:25:31,243 --> 00:25:33,541
- But I don't want to buy anything.
- Well, buy several.
341
00:25:33,645 --> 00:25:37,206
It's always nice to have a change.
And I've told Tony to pick you up for lunch.
342
00:25:37,316 --> 00:25:39,876
Are you the party that started this "confloration"?
343
00:25:39,985 --> 00:25:43,079
Yes. Just one minute, Colonel.
I've just got to answer some questions, darling.
344
00:25:43,188 --> 00:25:45,884
There's a nobleman in a white hat
waiting outside the booth for me.
345
00:25:45,991 --> 00:25:48,482
You didn't get in any trouble, did you?
I'll come right over.
346
00:25:48,594 --> 00:25:50,585
- You didn't get burned?
- What are you talking... -
347
00:25:50,696 --> 00:25:54,029
On the contrary, I'm sloshing wet,
and I don't think I'm in the slightest trouble.
348
00:25:54,132 --> 00:25:56,794
Uh, I'll be with you
in one second, General.
349
00:25:56,902 --> 00:25:59,837
Good-bye, my darling.
I'll join you at the earliest possible moment.
350
00:26:09,114 --> 00:26:11,605
- Hello, Annie.
- Hello, Sir Alfred.
351
00:26:11,717 --> 00:26:13,810
Thank you.
352
00:26:15,921 --> 00:26:19,550
- Hello, Louie. Is my bride here?
- Certainly, Sir Alfred. She's in 44.
353
00:26:19,658 --> 00:26:23,424
Hi, darling.
354
00:26:23,528 --> 00:26:26,224
- I think I'll have a quick brandy.
- Certainly, Sir Alfred.
355
00:26:29,001 --> 00:26:31,663
- I was in a slight fire.
- Sir?
356
00:26:31,770 --> 00:26:33,670
- Put that on my check, will you?
- Yes, sir.
357
00:26:33,772 --> 00:26:36,900
- Conduisez monsieur au 44.
- Thank you.
358
00:26:37,009 --> 00:26:38,943
- Sir Alfred.
- Hello, Josef.
359
00:26:42,147 --> 00:26:44,843
What are you two doing here?
Why aren't you all lunching together?
360
00:26:44,950 --> 00:26:48,784
- We didn't wish to intrude.
- They look so cute together.
361
00:26:48,887 --> 00:26:51,253
Well, why shouldn't they look cute together?
362
00:26:51,356 --> 00:26:53,256
See you later, pretty one.
363
00:26:54,760 --> 00:26:56,660
May I?
364
00:26:58,530 --> 00:27:00,430
Oh. Excuse me.
365
00:27:05,570 --> 00:27:07,470
- So sorry, my darling.
- Ah.
366
00:27:07,572 --> 00:27:10,370
- Thank you so much, Tony, for bringing her.
- Not at all, Sir Alfred.
367
00:27:10,475 --> 00:27:13,205
- Thank you.
- I was simply famished, sweetie love. I had to eat.
368
00:27:13,312 --> 00:27:16,338
And you were awful to buy me those dresses,
and I adore you for it.
369
00:27:16,448 --> 00:27:19,349
Tell me about the fire. Did you burn
down the whole thing or only the back half?
370
00:27:19,451 --> 00:27:22,215
Sorry to disappoint you... - it was just
a curtain and part of a venetian blind.
371
00:27:22,321 --> 00:27:24,915
I think they broke the leg off a piano.
It was very unimportant.
372
00:27:25,023 --> 00:27:27,617
Why aren't Barbara and August sitting with you?
373
00:27:27,726 --> 00:27:30,251
I haven't the slightest idea.
They seemed quite cool.
374
00:27:30,362 --> 00:27:32,830
- They seemed or he seemed?
- They both seemed.
375
00:27:32,931 --> 00:27:35,729
- What's she got to be cool about?
- What's he got to be cool about?
376
00:27:35,834 --> 00:27:40,168
That's another matter. He may have misunderstood
something I said, taken it the wrong way.
377
00:27:40,272 --> 00:27:42,172
- ByJove.
- What's the matter, darling?
378
00:27:42,274 --> 00:27:44,742
Excuse me one second, darling.
I'll be right back.
379
00:27:48,914 --> 00:27:52,077
Excuse me, Barbara, I'vejust had a... - sit down... -
revolting thought, August.
380
00:27:52,184 --> 00:27:55,085
Would those people who shall be nameless
be apt to have additional copies...
381
00:27:55,187 --> 00:27:57,178
of that which I did you know what with
this morning?
382
00:27:57,289 --> 00:27:59,450
- 'Cause I will not have them around.
- Uh... -
383
00:27:59,558 --> 00:28:02,026
If you can figure that out,
you're smarter than I think you are.
384
00:28:02,127 --> 00:28:05,187
Why not forget the whole thing, Alfred,
and concentrate on your music?
385
00:28:05,297 --> 00:28:08,198
I will tell them to dispose
of those things at the earliest opportunity.
386
00:28:08,300 --> 00:28:10,291
I'll tell them myself.
Give me one of their cards.
387
00:28:10,402 --> 00:28:13,303
- I suppose you carry them around with you
in case of emergency.
- I... -
388
00:28:13,405 --> 00:28:15,703
What's all the mystery? Did he... -
389
00:28:15,807 --> 00:28:19,709
The mystery is you're married to a square from
Delaware, if you're familiar with the appellation.
390
00:28:19,811 --> 00:28:21,779
That's no mystery.
The whole world knows it.
391
00:28:21,880 --> 00:28:25,782
- There you are, Alfred, but I still think that... -
- Thank you very much indeed.
392
00:28:25,884 --> 00:28:27,784
Thank you.
393
00:28:27,886 --> 00:28:30,719
Well, what's the matter with him?
He's getting nuttier than you are.
394
00:28:34,526 --> 00:28:37,154
You weren't challenging August to a duel,
were you, darling?
395
00:28:37,262 --> 00:28:39,230
- I saw you passing cards around.
- A duel?
396
00:28:39,331 --> 00:28:42,027
I'll take him by the back of the neck
and drop him into a dustbin.
397
00:28:42,134 --> 00:28:45,194
I've just remembered something I've got to
attend to at once, so if you'll excuse me... -
398
00:28:45,303 --> 00:28:48,238
- Take care of lunch, Tony.
- But you haven't had anything to eat, darling.
399
00:28:48,340 --> 00:28:50,240
I don't want anything to eat at the moment.
400
00:28:50,342 --> 00:28:52,503
Perhaps you'll have
a sandwich for me at the hotel later.
401
00:28:52,611 --> 00:28:55,444
Of course I will. You're all nervous, darling.
It's that plane flight.
402
00:28:55,547 --> 00:28:58,948
I feel a lot better already.
I'll see you in a little while, my love.
403
00:28:59,051 --> 00:29:00,951
All right, dearest.
404
00:29:19,371 --> 00:29:21,430
- You are Mr. Sweeney?
- Who me?
405
00:29:21,540 --> 00:29:23,701
Why not O'Brien?
What do you want to see him about?
406
00:29:23,809 --> 00:29:27,540
About business, I suppose.
I suppose you'd call this a business.
407
00:29:27,646 --> 00:29:30,479
- Well, what would you call it?
- I'd call it a criminal invasion...
408
00:29:30,582 --> 00:29:32,482
of the rights of decent people... -
409
00:29:32,584 --> 00:29:35,451
an assault upon the very privacy
which is the cornerstone of self-respect... -
410
00:29:35,554 --> 00:29:37,886
an infamous pursuit
without shame or ethics... -
411
00:29:37,989 --> 00:29:40,480
a vile calling, masquerading
in the cloak of respectability...
412
00:29:40,592 --> 00:29:42,992
but actually sprung
from the cesspools ofhumanity.
413
00:29:43,095 --> 00:29:45,791
- Look, mister... -
- Seepage of civilization.
414
00:29:45,897 --> 00:29:49,663
- Does that answer your question?
- Look, mister, I'm the tailor from next door.
415
00:29:49,768 --> 00:29:51,668
I'm just here to eat my lunch.
416
00:29:51,770 --> 00:29:54,136
I mean, I was trying to eat my lunch
and answer the telephone.
417
00:29:54,239 --> 00:29:56,139
A favor, that's all.
418
00:29:56,241 --> 00:29:58,175
With much of what you got to say... -
and believe me...
419
00:29:58,276 --> 00:30:00,267
whatever you are doing,
you are wasting your time...
420
00:30:00,378 --> 00:30:03,370
you should be in Congress... -
confidentially I agree...
421
00:30:03,482 --> 00:30:06,246
but what good is that going to do you?
422
00:30:06,351 --> 00:30:09,377
About a blue serge suit,
my opinion is worth something.
423
00:30:09,488 --> 00:30:13,686
- But from ethics... -
- Then where is the director of this enterprise?
424
00:30:13,792 --> 00:30:17,091
Here he is now climbing. Tell him.
425
00:30:17,195 --> 00:30:19,095
- Good day.
- Good day.
426
00:30:22,934 --> 00:30:24,834
A gentleman to see you, Ed.
427
00:30:29,508 --> 00:30:33,740
- You at last are Mr. Sweeney, I trust.
- And you are Sir Alfred de Carter.
428
00:30:33,845 --> 00:30:36,712
How I've looked forward
to this moment, Sir Alfred.
429
00:30:36,815 --> 00:30:42,276
I was at your maiden concert in this country... -
your "de-butt"...- down there at Aeolian Hall.
430
00:30:42,387 --> 00:30:44,947
People said, "What do you want
to hear that limey for?
431
00:30:45,056 --> 00:30:46,956
"What does he know about music?
432
00:30:47,058 --> 00:30:51,222
It takes an Italian or a Russian
or a Dutchman to bring it out good."
433
00:30:51,329 --> 00:30:55,288
But something inside of me said,
"Give the limey a chance."
434
00:30:55,400 --> 00:30:57,425
- And I did.
- Did you?
435
00:30:57,536 --> 00:31:02,769
And am I glad I did.
That hunch has paid off in golden dividends.
436
00:31:02,874 --> 00:31:07,504
I've never missed one of your concerts... -
within the metropolitan area, of course.
437
00:31:07,612 --> 00:31:11,412
I'm no millionaire, and I can't afford
to travel around the country after you...
438
00:31:11,516 --> 00:31:14,679
to South Dakota and places like that.
439
00:31:14,786 --> 00:31:17,846
Here's to the world's greatest living conductor.
440
00:31:17,956 --> 00:31:20,652
This is hardly what
I came to see you about, Mr. ... -
441
00:31:20,759 --> 00:31:23,023
The way you handle Handel, Sir Alfred.
442
00:31:23,128 --> 00:31:26,655
For me there's nobody handles Handel
like you handle Handel.
443
00:31:26,765 --> 00:31:28,665
- Really?
- There's you up here.
444
00:31:28,767 --> 00:31:32,168
And then there's nobody... -
no second, no third.
445
00:31:32,270 --> 00:31:34,795
Maybe way down here Arturo... - a poor fourth.
446
00:31:34,906 --> 00:31:37,773
That is largely debatable.
In any case, what I came to see you about... -
447
00:31:37,876 --> 00:31:40,344
And your Delius... - delirious.
448
00:31:40,445 --> 00:31:42,640
I usually have my tickets
as soon as they're printed.
449
00:31:42,747 --> 00:31:46,478
That change in schedule
loused me up a little, but I'll get in somehow.
450
00:31:46,585 --> 00:31:48,678
I'm bitterly sorry to hear
that you're a music lover.
451
00:31:48,787 --> 00:31:51,221
I live for music.
Without music I wouldn't... -
452
00:31:51,323 --> 00:31:54,156
I had always hoped that music had
a certain moral and antiseptic power...
453
00:31:54,259 --> 00:31:56,727
quite apart from its obvious
engorgement of the senses...
454
00:31:56,828 --> 00:31:59,194
which elevated and purified its disciples...
455
00:31:59,297 --> 00:32:02,425
- lifting them out of professions like this infamy.
- You're just hurt. I can see it.
456
00:32:02,534 --> 00:32:04,434
- Oh, Sir Alfred... -
- So spare me your compliments.
457
00:32:04,536 --> 00:32:06,436
The flattery of a footpad
is an insult in itself.
458
00:32:06,538 --> 00:32:08,870
You mean a flatfoot, don't you, Sir Alfred?
459
00:32:08,974 --> 00:32:11,238
- You don't mean a footpad.
- I mean a footpad!
460
00:32:11,343 --> 00:32:15,439
And now that I know that you like them,
I shall probably cut Handel and Delius
out of my program forever.
461
00:32:15,547 --> 00:32:19,108
- Don't talk like that.
- Please refrain from mentioning
any other of your musical favorites...
462
00:32:19,217 --> 00:32:21,344
and poisoning those for me also!
463
00:32:21,453 --> 00:32:23,921
You're just hurt. I can see it.
464
00:32:24,022 --> 00:32:26,855
You read that report,
and naturally it upset you.
465
00:32:26,958 --> 00:32:31,486
Aw, we fall for these little dames
and try to believe they're in love with us...
466
00:32:31,596 --> 00:32:35,259
when every morning
our shaving mirror yells, "They can't be"...
467
00:32:35,367 --> 00:32:39,428
till one day we find out that youth
belongs to youth, like you just done.
468
00:32:39,537 --> 00:32:41,437
- And then... -
- Take your hands off me!
469
00:32:41,539 --> 00:32:44,167
Aw, don't be sore at me.
What have I got to do with it?
470
00:32:44,276 --> 00:32:47,837
I suppose it was me that went down to
3406 in the middle of the night...
471
00:32:47,946 --> 00:32:51,780
wearing only a negligee
and stayed for 38 minutes.
472
00:32:51,883 --> 00:32:54,545
I suppose that's the part that bothered you.
473
00:32:54,653 --> 00:32:56,553
It usually is.
474
00:32:59,190 --> 00:33:01,090
3406.
475
00:33:01,192 --> 00:33:03,092
Yeah, I think that was the number.
476
00:33:03,194 --> 00:33:05,287
I got it here someplace if you want it.
477
00:33:05,397 --> 00:33:07,661
But it's only circumstantial evidence.
478
00:33:07,766 --> 00:33:10,860
Why don't we give her the benefit of the doubt?
479
00:33:12,370 --> 00:33:15,806
Maybe she couldn't open her toothpaste.
You was in England...
480
00:33:15,907 --> 00:33:18,341
so she goes down
and gets this guy to do it for her.
481
00:33:19,444 --> 00:33:23,540
Or maybe she seen a mouse in her room,
and it upset her and she wanted company.
482
00:33:23,648 --> 00:33:25,616
Aw, of course, that one's kind of thin.
483
00:33:25,717 --> 00:33:28,584
Aw, why don't we give her
the benefit of the doubt anyway?
484
00:33:28,687 --> 00:33:31,178
Maybe she woke up out of a bad dream,
and without thinking...
485
00:33:31,289 --> 00:33:33,314
where she was going,
slipped into a negligee and... -
486
00:33:33,425 --> 00:33:36,394
Are you presuming
to discuss Lady de Carter, my wife?
487
00:33:36,494 --> 00:33:40,430
Well... - Well, you read it, didn't you?
488
00:33:40,532 --> 00:33:43,194
Oh, I thought that's why
Henschler said he wanted... -
489
00:33:43,301 --> 00:33:45,201
Holy Moses.
490
00:33:46,571 --> 00:33:49,836
Uh... - Here, sit down someplace.
491
00:33:51,576 --> 00:33:54,067
- Is this the only copy?
- Yeah, that's the original.
492
00:33:57,716 --> 00:34:00,742
You're a wise man. I been through it.
493
00:34:00,852 --> 00:34:03,047
Only I wasn't as smart as you are.
494
00:34:03,154 --> 00:34:06,021
So I lost my piano and my savings...
495
00:34:06,124 --> 00:34:08,558
and a little shack I had down at the beach... -
496
00:34:08,660 --> 00:34:11,220
and her.
497
00:34:11,329 --> 00:34:14,162
So what have I got now?
498
00:34:14,265 --> 00:34:17,723
Maybe I shouldn't be saying it,
but if it was me...
499
00:34:17,836 --> 00:34:19,827
I'd never have 'em tailed.
500
00:34:19,938 --> 00:34:22,372
I'd never try to find out nothing.
501
00:34:22,474 --> 00:34:26,240
I'd just be grateful for whatever
they was willing to give me... -
502
00:34:26,344 --> 00:34:30,974
a year, a week, an hour.
503
00:34:53,238 --> 00:34:55,968
For tonight.
504
00:34:59,711 --> 00:35:01,611
Sir Alfred.
505
00:35:03,648 --> 00:35:08,108
I'm sure I would know about it, sweetie, although
this joint is a little like Grand Central Station.
506
00:35:08,219 --> 00:35:11,347
- Well, I just thought he might be, that's all.
- Well, I'm sure he isn't.
507
00:35:11,456 --> 00:35:14,220
But wait a minute.
I'll go and ask Casanova.
508
00:35:24,402 --> 00:35:27,030
- Oh.
- Daphne wants to know if you've seen Alfred.
509
00:35:27,138 --> 00:35:29,129
- He seems to have disappeared.
- No, I haven't.
510
00:35:29,240 --> 00:35:31,834
But we're not exactly
on the best of terms anyway, so... -
511
00:35:31,943 --> 00:35:33,843
Okay.
512
00:35:37,248 --> 00:35:41,275
No, he isn't, sweetie. There's nobody here but
Sitting Bull counting his money in the other room.
513
00:35:41,386 --> 00:35:43,286
What time do you want us to pick you up?
514
00:35:43,388 --> 00:35:46,414
If he doesn't show up pretty soon,
there may not be any concert.
515
00:35:48,560 --> 00:35:50,460
Wait a minute.
516
00:35:50,562 --> 00:35:54,362
The great man is just coming in now.
517
00:35:54,466 --> 00:35:57,026
Make it about 7:30, will you, darling?
518
00:35:57,135 --> 00:36:00,127
That is, unless we want to get some
hamburgers or something on the way.
519
00:36:00,238 --> 00:36:02,729
Okay. You do whatever you like.
520
00:36:02,841 --> 00:36:05,935
Oh, and what fur are you going to wear?
So that I won't wear the same.
521
00:36:06,044 --> 00:36:07,944
Right. Okay, baby. Bye.
522
00:36:08,046 --> 00:36:11,209
Darling, what happened to you?
Tony and I have been awfully worried.
523
00:36:11,316 --> 00:36:13,443
Lfinally had to send him
to get dressed anyway.
524
00:36:13,551 --> 00:36:15,985
Really?
525
00:36:16,087 --> 00:36:18,715
I've had your nice sandwich all ready, and... -
526
00:36:18,823 --> 00:36:20,950
and the ice all ready for your drink...
527
00:36:21,059 --> 00:36:23,254
and the bed all ready for your nap.
528
00:36:23,361 --> 00:36:27,092
Where have you been?
I... - I bet you've been out with some girls.
529
00:36:27,198 --> 00:36:29,826
Girls, hah!
530
00:36:29,934 --> 00:36:33,199
Well, then where have you been, darling?
Honestly, I've been awfully worried.
531
00:36:33,304 --> 00:36:35,738
- I've been to the movies.
- The movies?
532
00:36:35,840 --> 00:36:38,331
I saw a very long picture about a dog...
533
00:36:38,443 --> 00:36:40,638
the moral of which was that
a dog is a man's best friend.
534
00:36:40,745 --> 00:36:44,078
And a companion feature which questioned
the necessity of marriage for eight reels...
535
00:36:44,182 --> 00:36:46,742
- and then concluded it was essential in the ninth.
- Alfred.
536
00:36:46,851 --> 00:36:50,548
Also something about "time marching on"
and a newsreel of the royal family...
537
00:36:50,655 --> 00:36:52,555
christening something
extremely out of focus... -
538
00:36:52,657 --> 00:36:54,852
a lot of people being saved
from a sinking freighter...
539
00:36:54,959 --> 00:36:56,893
and a cat which had its kittens
in a harmonium...
540
00:36:56,995 --> 00:37:00,988
which made ghostly music and frightened
a Harlem congregation nearly out of its wits.
541
00:37:02,066 --> 00:37:05,866
- You feel quite hot.
- I feel anything but quite hot!
542
00:37:05,970 --> 00:37:09,428
Well, why didn't you take me to the movies?
I love the movies.
543
00:37:09,541 --> 00:37:11,839
Because there are times
when a man wishes to be alone.
544
00:37:11,943 --> 00:37:14,912
This was one of those times.
Any further questions?
545
00:37:15,013 --> 00:37:17,038
Well, no, of course not, darling.
546
00:37:17,148 --> 00:37:20,174
- I hate dry white bread.
- I'm sorry.
547
00:37:20,285 --> 00:37:23,152
Oh, would you like me to run
a nice hot bath for you?
548
00:37:23,254 --> 00:37:25,188
Do I appear to need one?
549
00:37:25,290 --> 00:37:27,190
Well, no, of course you don't, darling. I... -
550
00:37:27,292 --> 00:37:30,284
If I decide that I need a nice hot bath,
I will draw one.
551
00:37:30,395 --> 00:37:32,659
If I don't, I won't.
552
00:37:32,764 --> 00:37:34,891
Alfred, you're going to make me cry.
553
00:37:34,999 --> 00:37:37,900
Oh, darling, please, eat some
of your sandwich anyway, won't you?
554
00:37:38,002 --> 00:37:40,436
You can't go all day and all night
without eating.
555
00:37:40,538 --> 00:37:42,665
Thank you for your solicitude.
556
00:37:43,908 --> 00:37:46,604
I hate breast of turkey.
557
00:37:46,711 --> 00:37:48,872
Oh. Oh.
558
00:38:27,952 --> 00:38:29,852
Good evening, Sir Alfred.
559
00:38:42,300 --> 00:38:44,200
Come in.
560
00:38:56,681 --> 00:38:58,581
Sir Alfred.
561
00:39:14,165 --> 00:39:16,065
Was there something, Sir Alfred?
562
00:40:31,375 --> 00:40:34,037
I don't know what's the matter with you.
563
00:40:34,145 --> 00:40:36,409
And I don't know what's the matter
with my zipper either.
564
00:40:36,514 --> 00:40:38,607
Will you see if you can close it for me?
565
00:40:38,716 --> 00:40:40,616
Turn around.
566
00:40:52,463 --> 00:40:54,363
Suck in a little.
567
00:41:00,738 --> 00:41:02,672
What's the matter with you?
That's a fine thing.
568
00:41:02,774 --> 00:41:05,334
- I'll have to change into something else.
- Change into something else!
569
00:41:05,443 --> 00:41:09,243
You aren't suffering from any shortage. The
women of England would be lucky to have one dress.
570
00:41:09,347 --> 00:41:12,043
- What's that to do with me?
- You are married to an Englishman.
571
00:41:12,150 --> 00:41:15,483
I didn't ask you to buy me all these dresses.
I can't stop you from buying me dresses.
572
00:41:15,586 --> 00:41:18,783
You're always saying meet me at so-and-so's
and I'll buy you a dress. You know you do.
573
00:41:18,890 --> 00:41:20,790
If you're so worried about
how Englishwomen are dressed...
574
00:41:20,892 --> 00:41:23,156
there's nothing to stop you
from sending them all to them instead.
575
00:41:23,261 --> 00:41:25,593
It wouldn't make any difference to me.
I don't like clothes!
576
00:41:25,696 --> 00:41:28,187
- I've sent the women of England plenty!
- Then shut up about it.
577
00:41:28,299 --> 00:41:31,860
- I forbid you to speak to your husband in that tone!
- That's right. Strike me, you brute.
578
00:41:31,969 --> 00:41:34,631
- So, you don't dare.
- Go and get dressed for the concert.
579
00:41:34,739 --> 00:41:37,367
This is certainly going to be
the most magnificent concert!
580
00:41:37,475 --> 00:41:41,206
- Maybe I'll go to the movies instead.
- Culturally that might suit you better.
581
00:41:41,312 --> 00:41:43,644
And I thought my sister had married the jerk!
582
00:41:43,748 --> 00:41:46,308
Oh... - Oh, give me that zipper!
583
00:41:46,417 --> 00:41:49,011
Ohh!
584
00:42:24,689 --> 00:42:27,453
Next aisle over.
The usher will give you a program.
585
00:42:29,527 --> 00:42:31,961
Straight ahead, please.
586
00:42:32,063 --> 00:42:34,827
Last aisle over.
The usher will give you a program.
587
00:42:59,323 --> 00:43:03,282
It is remarkable how many people
will pay out good money for this sort of thing.
588
00:43:03,394 --> 00:43:06,261
Give me the quiet fireside
and an overstuffed chair.
589
00:43:06,364 --> 00:43:09,094
- It isn't quite so quiet when you start snoring.
- Barbara.
590
00:43:09,200 --> 00:43:11,168
Five and six.
591
00:43:30,821 --> 00:43:33,984
- You ever been in love, Jules?
- Oh, devotedly, sir.
592
00:43:34,091 --> 00:43:35,991
Hmm.
593
00:43:36,093 --> 00:43:38,653
What would you do if you discovered
that your wife had, uh... -
594
00:43:38,763 --> 00:43:40,822
this is purely hypothetical, of course... -
595
00:43:40,932 --> 00:43:43,833
had, uh... -
I wish I could think of a softer word... -
596
00:43:43,935 --> 00:43:45,869
uh, been untrue to you?
597
00:43:45,970 --> 00:43:49,269
Untrue to me, sir?
Oh, I think it's most unlikely.
598
00:43:49,373 --> 00:43:51,967
First of all,
where would she find anybody, sir?
599
00:43:52,076 --> 00:43:54,977
And in the second place, if she'd wanted
somebody better looking than me...
600
00:43:55,079 --> 00:43:56,979
she could've had him easy enough.
601
00:43:57,081 --> 00:43:59,276
I was awful ugly when I was young, sir.
602
00:43:59,383 --> 00:44:02,216
- Three minutes, Sir Alfred.
- Thanks, Herbert.
603
00:44:04,422 --> 00:44:06,356
Look! Look!
604
00:44:27,712 --> 00:44:30,738
Why don't you be more careful?
Why don't you look what you're doing?
605
00:44:39,824 --> 00:44:42,384
Thank you, Jules.
Here we go.
606
00:47:15,112 --> 00:47:17,512
I, uh, trust you enjoyed the concert.
607
00:47:17,615 --> 00:47:19,549
I thought you were wonderful, darling.
608
00:47:19,650 --> 00:47:22,915
Thank you.
I felt quite inspired tonight.
609
00:47:23,020 --> 00:47:25,921
I know it sounds absurd,
but did you have a peculiar feeling...
610
00:47:26,023 --> 00:47:29,925
that you were watching me conduct
for the last time?
611
00:47:30,027 --> 00:47:31,927
For the last time?
612
00:47:32,029 --> 00:47:33,997
Women get premonitions
about things sometimes... -
613
00:47:34,098 --> 00:47:36,794
such as if their husbands
are going to die or... -
614
00:47:36,901 --> 00:47:40,132
or even that they are going to, uh,
pass on, I believe it's called...
615
00:47:40,237 --> 00:47:42,330
in refined circles,
or things of that nature.
616
00:47:42,439 --> 00:47:44,703
Why should I have any thoughts like that?
617
00:47:44,808 --> 00:47:48,972
Well, it could have been the music,
which does strange things sometimes.
618
00:47:49,079 --> 00:47:51,377
Very strange things.
619
00:47:51,482 --> 00:47:53,416
You know, after all this
somber music of mine...
620
00:47:53,517 --> 00:47:56,486
I think you ought to hear something
a little lighter, something gayer...
621
00:47:56,587 --> 00:47:59,112
something a little nearer your age
as a sort of antidote.
622
00:48:00,157 --> 00:48:02,182
How would you like to go dancing?
623
00:48:02,293 --> 00:48:04,352
Oh, wouldn't that be wonderful.
624
00:48:04,461 --> 00:48:06,486
Yes. Wouldn't it?
625
00:48:06,597 --> 00:48:09,657
I've got to talk to Hugo about
the South American tour for a while.
626
00:48:09,767 --> 00:48:13,328
I might be able to join you later.
Certainly I'll try very hard.
627
00:48:13,437 --> 00:48:15,337
Join who later?
628
00:48:15,439 --> 00:48:18,340
Oh, you and whoever's
fortunate enough to take you dancing.
629
00:48:18,442 --> 00:48:20,342
At my expense, of course.
630
00:48:20,444 --> 00:48:22,344
I insist upon paying.
631
00:48:22,446 --> 00:48:25,472
Oh, I don't think I should like
to go dancing without you.
632
00:48:25,583 --> 00:48:28,916
I can't think of anyone
I'd care to go out with.
633
00:48:29,019 --> 00:48:30,919
Think hard.
634
00:48:31,021 --> 00:48:35,185
I am thinking hard, but I... -
I can't think of anybody.
635
00:48:37,027 --> 00:48:38,927
What about Tony?
636
00:48:39,029 --> 00:48:40,929
Tony?
637
00:48:41,031 --> 00:48:43,295
Oh, you mean Tony.
638
00:48:43,400 --> 00:48:46,597
Well, why should I want to
go out with Tony?
639
00:48:46,704 --> 00:48:51,698
I merely suggested Tony because
he's my secretary and therefore convenient...
640
00:48:51,809 --> 00:48:55,802
'cause he's a fine-looking young man
and you must look well together, especially dancing...
641
00:48:55,913 --> 00:48:57,813
and because, uh, being seen with him...
642
00:48:57,915 --> 00:49:01,442
since it's well known that he is my secretary,
would cause no raised eyebrows...
643
00:49:01,552 --> 00:49:03,520
or remarks behind the napkins...
644
00:49:03,621 --> 00:49:06,818
and finally because he has
my complete confidence.
645
00:49:06,924 --> 00:49:09,051
Oh, but he's such a bore.
646
00:49:09,159 --> 00:49:11,559
Oh, he's obviously not as amusing as I am.
647
00:49:13,664 --> 00:49:16,394
I'm not asking you
to fall in love with the young man.
648
00:49:16,500 --> 00:49:19,992
I'm only asking you
to let him take you dancing.
649
00:49:20,104 --> 00:49:22,095
Well, if you really want me to.
650
00:49:22,206 --> 00:49:24,333
I really want you to.
651
00:49:24,441 --> 00:49:27,535
I don't suppose there could be
much harm to it.
652
00:49:27,645 --> 00:49:29,545
How could there be?
653
00:49:29,647 --> 00:49:31,672
I'll go and call him then.
654
00:49:31,782 --> 00:49:35,548
Do you know his room number?
655
00:49:35,653 --> 00:49:39,180
I could get it
from the operator, I guess.
656
00:49:39,290 --> 00:49:41,258
Oh, yes. Of course.
657
00:49:42,626 --> 00:49:44,526
Now, what will you wear?
658
00:49:44,628 --> 00:49:47,358
Oh, do you think I should change
just for Tony?
659
00:49:47,464 --> 00:49:50,797
Tony's a very handsome young man.
You mustn't talk about him in that way.
660
00:49:50,901 --> 00:49:54,428
- I never noticed it.
- I'm sure you haven't.
661
00:49:54,538 --> 00:50:00,101
Nevertheless, I'd wear something younger,
something a little less conservative.
662
00:50:00,210 --> 00:50:04,146
It's not as though you were
going out with, uh, me.
663
00:50:04,248 --> 00:50:08,241
Oh, you mean like that purple one
with the plumes at the hips?
664
00:50:08,352 --> 00:50:11,981
Yes. Why not the one
with the plumes at the hips?
665
00:50:13,524 --> 00:50:16,982
Now go and call Tony
and tell him to pick you up in, uh...
666
00:50:18,295 --> 00:50:20,820
15 minutes exactly.
667
00:50:21,932 --> 00:50:26,392
And then put on the purple one
with the plumes at the hips.
668
00:50:27,805 --> 00:50:30,205
- Run along.
- All right, darling.
669
00:50:33,944 --> 00:50:35,912
Thank you.
670
00:51:40,010 --> 00:51:44,071
Help. Help.
671
00:51:44,181 --> 00:51:46,809
Help!
672
00:51:46,917 --> 00:51:51,479
Stop! Tony, stop!
673
00:51:58,362 --> 00:52:02,128
Help. Help.
674
00:52:02,232 --> 00:52:06,999
Help! Stop! Tony, stop!
675
00:52:13,277 --> 00:52:16,440
Oh! Oh!
676
00:52:18,882 --> 00:52:22,374
Help! Murder! Police!
677
00:52:22,486 --> 00:52:26,513
Murder!
678
00:52:31,662 --> 00:52:36,031
No, I tell you. It was his own idea.
679
00:52:38,402 --> 00:52:41,200
You're sure you... -
you won't mind, Tony?
680
00:52:41,305 --> 00:52:43,535
Sure it won't be
too, too much trouble?
681
00:53:04,995 --> 00:53:07,122
All right, honey.
682
00:53:07,231 --> 00:53:09,426
He said in 15 minutes exactly, but... -
683
00:53:09,533 --> 00:53:12,400
Well, that was about five minutes ago.
684
00:53:12,503 --> 00:53:14,869
So if you're in any hurry.
685
00:53:15,906 --> 00:53:17,806
Uh-huh.
686
00:53:17,908 --> 00:53:19,808
Uh-huh.
687
00:53:19,910 --> 00:53:21,810
Mm-hmm!
688
00:54:14,398 --> 00:54:16,662
Alfred, stop, please!
689
00:54:16,767 --> 00:54:19,235
Oh, forgive me, Alfred.
690
00:54:19,336 --> 00:54:21,930
No! No!
691
00:54:27,144 --> 00:54:29,078
Stop, Alfred!
692
00:56:15,419 --> 00:56:17,683
Come in.
693
00:56:19,356 --> 00:56:21,517
Good evening.
694
00:56:21,625 --> 00:56:23,320
Ah, there you are, my boy.
695
00:56:25,262 --> 00:56:28,959
Extremely kind and devoted of you
to take my place for tonight with Daphne.
696
00:56:29,066 --> 00:56:32,433
Which I hardly presume amuses you,
as no doubt you like older women.
697
00:56:34,538 --> 00:56:36,665
You know as I told you
when I first engaged you...
698
00:56:36,773 --> 00:56:40,004
24 hours a day and not a minute less
would be the least I would need you.
699
00:56:40,110 --> 00:56:42,874
I'm very glad to be of service, Sir Alfred.
Any service any time.
700
00:56:42,979 --> 00:56:44,879
I don't doubt it for an instant, my boy.
701
00:56:44,981 --> 00:56:48,348
Maybe I can do something
for you someday. Who knows?
702
00:56:48,452 --> 00:56:50,750
Darling, Tony's here.
703
00:56:51,922 --> 00:56:53,822
Ah, she didn't hear me.
704
00:56:53,924 --> 00:56:56,222
But you know what women are like
when they're dressing...
705
00:56:56,326 --> 00:56:59,727
and putting on something extra special
to go dancing with handsome young men like you.
706
00:56:59,830 --> 00:57:02,560
I wish I hadn't got to talk business
with Hugo. You are lucky.
707
00:57:02,666 --> 00:57:04,566
However... -
708
00:57:04,668 --> 00:57:07,501
Oh, I don't think the barber did
an awfully good job on that razor.
709
00:57:07,604 --> 00:57:11,005
- You did ask him to hone it, didn't you?
- Of course I did. Have you tried it?
710
00:57:11,108 --> 00:57:14,669
- Well, not actually, but... -
- Of course, I don't know much about
these old-fashioned razors.
711
00:57:14,778 --> 00:57:16,678
Naturally. Not at your age.
712
00:57:16,780 --> 00:57:19,180
Isn't there something about
taking a hair from your head?
713
00:57:19,282 --> 00:57:21,716
Yes, that's right.
714
00:57:21,818 --> 00:57:24,116
Oh, that's splendid.
715
00:57:24,221 --> 00:57:27,054
No, no, no, no.
Hold the... - Hold the blade in your hand.
716
00:57:27,157 --> 00:57:29,057
Along your hand.
717
00:57:29,159 --> 00:57:31,457
That's right. Hold it firm.
718
00:57:31,561 --> 00:57:36,089
That's fine. Now, run the... -
run the hair along the razor's edge.
719
00:57:38,769 --> 00:57:41,294
- It cut it.
- ByJove, I am surprised.
720
00:57:41,404 --> 00:57:43,998
That must be sharp enough for almost anything.
721
00:57:44,107 --> 00:57:47,099
Now put it away in the case,
and, uh, not a word to the barber.
722
00:57:47,210 --> 00:57:50,839
I don't want him to cut my throat
next time I go down there.
723
00:57:50,947 --> 00:57:52,847
Thank you very much.
724
00:57:52,949 --> 00:57:55,110
I must be off.
I don't want to keep Hugo waiting.
725
00:57:55,218 --> 00:57:57,152
Maybe I'd just better
tell Daphne you're here.
726
00:57:57,254 --> 00:58:00,314
Sometimes these girls
keep you waiting all night.
727
00:58:00,423 --> 00:58:03,881
Darling, Tony's waiting.
728
00:58:45,769 --> 00:58:48,203
Good night, darling.
729
00:58:51,541 --> 00:58:54,339
Well, now she's playing music.
She won't be long.
730
00:58:54,444 --> 00:58:57,140
She's put on a wonderful gown
for you, Tony.
731
00:58:57,247 --> 00:59:01,650
- Purple... with plumes at the hips.
- I am lucky.
732
00:59:01,751 --> 00:59:05,278
Yes, I think you'll be quite bowled over
when first you see her in it.
733
00:59:05,388 --> 00:59:08,482
But don't be impatient.
It's really quite worth waiting for.
734
00:59:08,592 --> 00:59:10,560
- Good night.
- Good night.
735
00:59:11,895 --> 00:59:13,863
Thank you so much again.
736
00:59:23,240 --> 00:59:25,208
Good night.
737
00:59:29,980 --> 00:59:31,948
Thank you.
738
00:59:35,518 --> 00:59:37,418
- Good evening.
- Good evening, Sir Alfred.
739
00:59:37,520 --> 00:59:39,920
Have you seen anything of
my manager, Mr. Hugo Standoff?
740
00:59:40,023 --> 00:59:44,460
- Well, no, I ain't, boss, but, uh... -
- I'll ask the operator. Maybe he's called. Thank you.
741
00:59:51,301 --> 00:59:53,201
Good evening.
742
00:59:53,303 --> 00:59:55,533
- Oh, good evening, Sir Alfred.
- Been any calls for me?
743
00:59:55,639 --> 00:59:59,905
- I've been expecting my manager, Mr. Hugo Standoff.
- No, Sir Alfred. I haven't had any.
744
01:00:00,010 --> 01:00:02,843
- Maizie, have you had any calls?
- No, I haven't, Sir Alfred.
745
01:00:02,946 --> 01:00:04,846
He should be here by now.
746
01:00:04,948 --> 01:00:06,973
There's been plenty of time.
747
01:00:13,323 --> 01:00:15,291
Help! Stop!
748
01:00:17,227 --> 01:00:19,718
- Number, please.
- Daphne!
749
01:00:19,829 --> 01:00:23,265
Oh! Oh!
750
01:00:23,366 --> 01:00:26,392
Stop! Tony! Oh!
751
01:00:26,503 --> 01:00:28,403
Daphne! Daphne!
752
01:00:28,505 --> 01:00:31,531
- What is it?
- Wait a minute. It's your apartment, Sir Alfred.
753
01:00:31,641 --> 01:00:33,541
It's Lady Daphne.
She's calling for help.
754
01:00:33,643 --> 01:00:37,170
She said, "Tony, stop! Tony!"
755
01:00:37,280 --> 01:00:39,407
- Do something! Do something!
- Stop, Tony! Stop!
756
01:00:39,516 --> 01:00:41,950
- What's the matter?
- Call the police. Quick, follow me upstairs.
757
01:00:42,052 --> 01:00:46,682
No, Tony! Police! Murder!
758
01:00:46,790 --> 01:00:49,190
Daphne! Daphne!
759
01:00:49,292 --> 01:00:52,284
Get the police, quick!
I want a policeman.
760
01:00:52,395 --> 01:00:54,363
There's been a murder!
761
01:00:54,464 --> 01:00:57,297
Oh, Tony.
Tony, what have you done?
762
01:00:57,400 --> 01:00:59,960
I tell you. I had nothing to do with it.
You know that, Sir Alfred.
763
01:01:00,070 --> 01:01:01,970
Somebody turn off that lousy music.
764
01:01:02,072 --> 01:01:04,597
- Yes.
- But, Sir Alfred, you know I speak the truth.
765
01:01:04,708 --> 01:01:08,303
I was just where you left me waiting for her
when I heard the screaming.
766
01:01:08,411 --> 01:01:12,677
- Then I ran in here.
- Oh, Tony, Tony.
767
01:01:13,717 --> 01:01:16,151
What's that on the floor?
768
01:01:16,252 --> 01:01:18,345
Oh, it's the razor.
769
01:01:18,455 --> 01:01:21,390
Don't touch that. Might have fingerprints on it.
770
01:01:21,491 --> 01:01:26,292
Oh, Tony, Tony. What have you done?
771
01:01:27,397 --> 01:01:30,525
The sentence of the court is
that you are to be taken from this place...
772
01:01:30,633 --> 01:01:33,363
to a lawful prison
and thence to a place of execution.
773
01:01:33,470 --> 01:01:35,438
No, I didn't do it!
I didn't do it! No!
774
01:01:35,538 --> 01:01:38,905
I didn't do it!
775
01:02:37,500 --> 01:02:39,195
Bravo!
776
01:02:39,302 --> 01:02:41,202
Bravo!
777
01:02:44,007 --> 01:02:45,975
Bravo!
778
01:02:57,987 --> 01:02:59,614
Hooray!
779
01:02:59,722 --> 01:03:01,246
- Bravo!
- Bravo!
780
01:03:01,357 --> 01:03:03,382
Bravo!
781
01:03:07,263 --> 01:03:09,731
- Never.
- What?
782
01:03:09,833 --> 01:03:14,065
Never since the "inwention"of that
most beautiful of all musical instruments... -
783
01:03:14,170 --> 01:03:16,661
- Come on, Jules.
- the symphony orchestra... -
784
01:03:16,773 --> 01:03:18,798
has it been played like you just done.
785
01:03:18,908 --> 01:03:20,808
- Don't flatter me.
- Flatter you?
786
01:03:20,910 --> 01:03:23,310
Compared to the truth,
I am insulting you.
787
01:03:23,413 --> 01:03:27,076
What did you have in your head?
What visions of eternity?
788
01:03:27,183 --> 01:03:31,244
Armageddon, the final battle of
the planets and the end of creation...
789
01:03:31,354 --> 01:03:35,791
to bring music like that
from that bunch of cat scratchers?
790
01:03:35,892 --> 01:03:38,622
You'd be enormously surprised
if you knew, Hugo.
791
01:03:46,903 --> 01:03:49,030
Hooray! Hooray!
792
01:03:50,140 --> 01:03:52,540
Oh!
793
01:03:54,277 --> 01:03:56,040
Oh!
794
01:03:56,146 --> 01:03:58,944
I'll get them.
795
01:05:37,580 --> 01:05:40,947
- Poor baby.
- Why?
796
01:05:41,050 --> 01:05:42,984
'Cause you know that I know.
797
01:05:43,086 --> 01:05:48,547
You can feel it. It's made you all small
and ashamed and unhappy.
798
01:05:48,658 --> 01:05:53,186
As if we could control our love... -
lead it by the hand like an obedient child...
799
01:05:53,296 --> 01:05:55,491
and order it to do our bidding.
800
01:05:55,598 --> 01:05:57,498
I don't know what you're talking about.
801
01:05:57,600 --> 01:06:00,000
Yes, you know what I'm talking about.
802
01:06:00,103 --> 01:06:03,072
'Cause love took you
by the hand and led you...
803
01:06:03,172 --> 01:06:07,506
albeit shyly and reluctantly, into the presence
of this beautiful young man and said...
804
01:06:07,610 --> 01:06:10,477
"See, little Daphne,
what I had intended for you.
805
01:06:10,580 --> 01:06:13,174
"Gaze upon your destiny.
806
01:06:13,283 --> 01:06:17,982
"See how gently the tendrils
of his lustrous hair curl behind his ears.
807
01:06:18,087 --> 01:06:22,421
"See how respectfully he lowers
his silken lashes when addressing you.
808
01:06:22,525 --> 01:06:26,484
But notice the spark that leaps from his skin
to yours when accidentally your hands meet."
809
01:06:26,596 --> 01:06:28,496
Oh, no. No.
810
01:06:28,598 --> 01:06:31,066
I don't blame you, darling.
811
01:06:31,167 --> 01:06:33,260
You didn't want to.
812
01:06:33,369 --> 01:06:35,735
I'm the one to blame.
813
01:06:35,838 --> 01:06:37,897
Entirely and alone.
814
01:06:38,007 --> 01:06:40,771
I'm deeply ashamed, Daphne,
for what I've done to you.
815
01:06:40,877 --> 01:06:43,869
You? Ashamed?
816
01:06:43,980 --> 01:06:47,177
- I'm the one.
- No, darling.
817
01:06:47,283 --> 01:06:50,582
The one who knows the most
carries the responsibility.
818
01:06:50,687 --> 01:06:54,088
He, and he alone, must judge
the chances of success...
819
01:06:54,190 --> 01:06:56,090
or failure.
820
01:06:56,192 --> 01:06:59,787
A union between a man of the world... -
a seasoned traveler... -
821
01:06:59,896 --> 01:07:02,763
and a child from Porthole, Michigan...
822
01:07:02,865 --> 01:07:05,527
I suppose was doomed from the start.
823
01:07:05,635 --> 01:07:08,399
Porthaul.
824
01:07:08,504 --> 01:07:11,098
I'll never remember it.
825
01:07:11,207 --> 01:07:14,233
A baby with bows in her hair.
826
01:07:17,013 --> 01:07:19,311
That wonderful night.
827
01:07:19,415 --> 01:07:22,612
Pity we couldn't keep it up.
828
01:07:22,719 --> 01:07:25,279
Oh, don't cry, my darling.
829
01:07:25,388 --> 01:07:27,618
I couldn't understand music
as well as I do...
830
01:07:27,724 --> 01:07:30,192
if I didn't understand
the human heart a little.
831
01:07:32,228 --> 01:07:34,992
Neither of you has done anything wrong.
832
01:07:35,098 --> 01:07:37,794
Youth belongs to youth.
833
01:07:37,900 --> 01:07:40,994
And beauty... to beauty.
834
01:07:44,707 --> 01:07:48,438
I want you to be rich,
comfortable and free.
835
01:07:49,612 --> 01:07:52,103
I don't want you
to have to worry about...
836
01:07:52,215 --> 01:07:56,914
rent or clothing or food.
837
01:07:59,188 --> 01:08:02,783
Any of the unromantic things
which should always be provided for you.
838
01:08:13,669 --> 01:08:16,570
That little head was never made to worry.
839
01:08:19,008 --> 01:08:21,272
Nor these little hands to work.
840
01:08:27,750 --> 01:08:29,775
Only to love.
841
01:08:30,853 --> 01:08:33,481
To love so dearly.
842
01:09:28,711 --> 01:09:31,441
Hooray!
843
01:09:32,548 --> 01:09:34,516
Magnificent.
844
01:09:34,617 --> 01:09:37,279
Bravo!
845
01:09:37,386 --> 01:09:40,184
Bravo!
846
01:09:40,289 --> 01:09:43,816
Bravo! Bravo!
847
01:09:47,230 --> 01:09:49,130
Oh, darling.
848
01:09:51,601 --> 01:09:53,569
Darling, I simply couldn't
wait until the end.
849
01:09:53,669 --> 01:09:56,900
I had to tell you now how wonderful it is.
It's just wonderful.
850
01:09:57,006 --> 01:09:59,099
- Absolutely wonderful.
- I'm relieved to hear it.
851
01:09:59,208 --> 01:10:01,733
Personally, I thought every emotion
was enormously exaggerated.
852
01:10:01,844 --> 01:10:04,938
- Darling, it was just wonderful.
- Yes, you've already said that... - both of you.
853
01:10:05,047 --> 01:10:08,244
- If you'll forgive me, I've got a dry shirt waiting.
- Can I help you, darling?
854
01:10:08,351 --> 01:10:10,410
I've gotJules for that, thank you.
855
01:10:10,520 --> 01:10:12,488
Why... - Why, you... -
856
01:10:13,890 --> 01:10:16,415
Oh, come on.
857
01:10:16,526 --> 01:10:19,427
- You look exceptionally pretty tonight.
- What did you say?
858
01:10:19,529 --> 01:10:22,657
- I said you look exceptionally pretty tonight.
- I can't imagine why I should.
859
01:10:22,765 --> 01:10:26,030
- Maybe it's the music.
- With me music goes in one ear and out the other.
860
01:10:26,135 --> 01:10:28,865
- Oh, there you are.
- How is he?
861
01:10:28,971 --> 01:10:31,166
I don't know what's
the matter with him tonight.
862
01:10:31,274 --> 01:10:33,834
Too much temperament.
Give me the simple viewpoint.
863
01:10:33,943 --> 01:10:37,276
- You've got it, boy. You don't have to yearn for it.
- Barbara.
864
01:12:09,005 --> 01:12:11,769
Well, what is it, Alfred?
865
01:12:11,874 --> 01:12:14,035
First of all, I want to
apologize to you both...
866
01:12:14,143 --> 01:12:16,373
for being so abrupt with you
backstage at the concert...
867
01:12:16,479 --> 01:12:19,209
but somehow when you happen to be
perfectly aware of the fact...
868
01:12:19,315 --> 01:12:21,715
- that your wife is your secretary's mistress... -
- Alfred.
869
01:12:21,817 --> 01:12:23,717
- Sir Alfred!
- Didn't you know that I knew?
870
01:12:23,819 --> 01:12:26,788
Don't try and hide behind Daphne, Tony.
You'll never hide from me.
871
01:12:26,889 --> 01:12:29,084
I... - I... - I don't know
what you're talking about.
872
01:12:29,191 --> 01:12:31,955
You know precisely
what I'm talking about, both of you.
873
01:12:32,061 --> 01:12:35,087
You've been dreading this moment,
hoping against hope it would never happen...
874
01:12:35,197 --> 01:12:37,392
but knowing in your secret hearts
that it would.
875
01:12:37,500 --> 01:12:41,800
And now the moment's arrived
you're wondering what I'm going to do, aren't you?
876
01:12:41,904 --> 01:12:47,206
Knowing that I hold all the cards and that
the unwritten law will protect me to the end.
877
01:12:47,309 --> 01:12:49,209
I thought of killing you, my dear.
878
01:12:49,311 --> 01:12:52,474
I cut your throat with my razor.
Your head nearly came off.
879
01:12:52,581 --> 01:12:55,641
- Oh!
- But it was your fingerprints
they found on the razor, Tony...
880
01:12:55,751 --> 01:12:58,515
and you they burned,
screaming your innocence.
881
01:12:58,621 --> 01:13:02,785
- Alfred.
- It's a relief to hear that in the past tense, isn't it?
882
01:13:02,892 --> 01:13:06,328
Then, such is human idiocy,
I forgave you.
883
01:13:06,429 --> 01:13:08,624
Wrote you an enormous check.
884
01:13:08,731 --> 01:13:12,064
Grew maudlin over the necessity
of youth for youth.
885
01:13:12,168 --> 01:13:15,103
Where and why is this necessity?
By what logic does it flourish?
886
01:13:15,204 --> 01:13:17,866
What's so precious about the young female?
887
01:13:17,973 --> 01:13:19,873
No, no, Daphne.
888
01:13:19,975 --> 01:13:23,411
You shall have no money, and fate
will decide which man you are to have...
889
01:13:23,512 --> 01:13:25,639
and how much of a man he is.
890
01:13:26,682 --> 01:13:31,244
Here we have all the necessary apparatus
for a genuinely amusing game, Tony.
891
01:13:31,353 --> 01:13:34,322
Invented by some czarist officers
who cared little for their lives...
892
01:13:34,423 --> 01:13:37,256
but much for bravery
and the conquest of emotion.
893
01:13:37,359 --> 01:13:40,157
The idea is for each of us
to pull the trigger once...
894
01:13:40,262 --> 01:13:43,060
aiming it at our own temples
with a perfectly steady hand.
895
01:13:43,165 --> 01:13:48,034
Of the six bullets, I remove five.
896
01:13:49,472 --> 01:13:51,736
One only I put back in the cylinder...
897
01:13:51,841 --> 01:13:53,775
which I spin like this...
898
01:13:53,876 --> 01:13:55,776
for the lucky winner.
899
01:13:55,878 --> 01:14:00,076
The odds then are 1 -to-5 for,
5-to-1 against.
900
01:14:00,182 --> 01:14:02,309
Better than I've had in many a casino.
901
01:14:02,418 --> 01:14:05,285
So, you see, Tony, it's not really
a very dangerous game at all...
902
01:14:05,387 --> 01:14:09,289
and will vouchsafe you a magnificent opportunity
to show Daphne how brave you are...
903
01:14:09,391 --> 01:14:13,452
how icy cool in the face of
this, uh, small adventure.
904
01:14:13,562 --> 01:14:17,225
- No.
- I'll spin it once more now, just in case you peeked.
905
01:14:17,333 --> 01:14:21,269
And then, as the seducer of my wife
and the destroyer of my home...
906
01:14:21,370 --> 01:14:23,702
you shall have the honor
of playing the first hand...
907
01:14:23,806 --> 01:14:26,240
of this enthralling little game
called Russian roulette.
908
01:14:26,342 --> 01:14:27,570
- Oh, no.
- No!
909
01:14:27,676 --> 01:14:30,201
- Exciting, isn't it?
- Alfred, stop it. Stop it.
910
01:14:30,312 --> 01:14:33,372
What a fuss we're making.
Here, Tony.
911
01:14:33,482 --> 01:14:35,416
No, no. Not at me.
At your temple.
912
01:14:35,518 --> 01:14:37,418
That's right.
Now, cool and collected...
913
01:14:37,520 --> 01:14:40,250
with nerves of steel,
with steady hand and cheerful eye...
914
01:14:40,356 --> 01:14:44,053
Mr. Anthony Windborn,
the celebrated wife-stealer, will demonstrate... -
915
01:14:44,160 --> 01:14:47,220
- Sir Alfred, please, no. Sir Alfred, please!
- Alfred, I beseech you.
916
01:14:47,329 --> 01:14:51,265
Can it be that I detect a thread of saffron
in this otherwise perfect fabric?
917
01:14:51,367 --> 01:14:55,098
Come, come, Tony.
You, the fearless cavalier? You hesitate?
918
01:14:55,204 --> 01:14:57,968
Then watch me closely
while I show you how it's done.
919
01:14:58,073 --> 01:15:00,405
I spin the wheel of fortune once more.
920
01:15:00,509 --> 01:15:03,376
You see?
Then, with a rigidly steady hand...
921
01:15:03,479 --> 01:15:06,676
and without any quaverings
or sniveling yammerings... -
922
01:15:06,782 --> 01:15:10,047
I would ask you to notice, Daphne... -
I place the muzzle here.
923
01:15:10,152 --> 01:15:13,553
And with a simple "Godspeed"
in case I should be unfortunate...
924
01:15:13,656 --> 01:15:15,556
I pull the trigger... -
925
01:16:00,970 --> 01:16:03,404
Bravo! Bravo!
926
01:16:07,343 --> 01:16:09,243
Bravo!
927
01:16:47,983 --> 01:16:49,951
Anybody there?
928
01:19:42,424 --> 01:19:44,449
Number, please.
929
01:19:47,696 --> 01:19:49,664
Number, please.
930
01:20:14,056 --> 01:20:16,024
Number, please.
931
01:20:18,494 --> 01:20:20,394
Hello. Who is this?
932
01:20:20,496 --> 01:20:23,761
Some jerk on the line.
Hello. Are you trying to get a number?
933
01:20:31,206 --> 01:20:33,174
Number, pl... -
934
01:21:04,206 --> 01:21:06,504
Are you trying to get a number?
935
01:21:06,608 --> 01:21:10,044
- Did you want a number?
- I don't want a number.
936
01:21:10,145 --> 01:21:12,409
What makes you think
I want a number?
937
01:22:09,204 --> 01:22:11,172
Number, please.
938
01:22:11,273 --> 01:22:13,241
I do not want a number!
939
01:22:42,304 --> 01:22:44,272
Ah.
940
01:27:32,727 --> 01:27:34,957
Hello. Hello?
941
01:27:35,063 --> 01:27:36,963
Hello, who is this?
942
01:27:37,065 --> 01:27:39,727
Sounds like a talking dog.
943
01:27:39,834 --> 01:27:41,995
- Oh.
- What's the matter?
944
01:27:42,103 --> 01:27:46,062
- Well, it sounded like an explosion.
- Hello. Hello, Alfie. Where are you?
945
01:27:46,174 --> 01:27:48,642
Where do you think I am?
Since I'm here answering the phone.
946
01:27:48,743 --> 01:27:50,643
- What happened to you?
- Is he all right?
947
01:27:50,745 --> 01:27:53,509
Yes, I merely felt a slight... -
948
01:27:53,615 --> 01:27:56,675
Hello, Alfred. We'll be right up.
949
01:27:56,785 --> 01:28:00,312
I don't want you up here. Perhaps you'll be
kind enough to send my wife home...
950
01:28:00,422 --> 01:28:02,788
if she's nothing better to do.
951
01:28:02,891 --> 01:28:04,950
He don't want nobody but you.
952
01:28:05,060 --> 01:28:06,960
- Then take me home quickly, Tony.
- Certainly.
953
01:28:07,062 --> 01:28:09,394
We'll take a cab.
954
01:28:09,497 --> 01:28:11,465
Is there any insanity in his family?
955
01:28:11,566 --> 01:28:13,625
I don't know,
but there's plenty in mine.
956
01:30:27,769 --> 01:30:30,761
Help. Help. Oh!
957
01:30:30,872 --> 01:30:32,840
Oh. Oh.
958
01:30:32,941 --> 01:30:34,909
Oh.
959
01:30:45,987 --> 01:30:49,354
Help. Help. Oh! Oh!
960
01:30:49,457 --> 01:30:51,425
Aaah... -
961
01:31:02,170 --> 01:31:05,571
Help. Help. Help!
962
01:31:05,673 --> 01:31:08,141
Murder! Police!
963
01:31:08,243 --> 01:31:10,939
Spare me! Spare me!
964
01:31:11,045 --> 01:31:13,536
Tony, what did I ever do to you?
965
01:31:13,648 --> 01:31:15,673
Tony. Tony!
966
01:31:15,784 --> 01:31:17,684
Help. Help.
967
01:31:17,786 --> 01:31:21,449
Police! Murder!
968
01:31:29,798 --> 01:31:32,995
Help. Help.
969
01:31:33,101 --> 01:31:35,069
Help. Help.
970
01:31:36,838 --> 01:31:41,104
Help! Murder!
971
01:31:41,209 --> 01:31:43,507
Police!
972
01:31:43,611 --> 01:31:46,011
Spare me!
973
01:31:46,114 --> 01:31:48,674
Spare me!
974
01:31:48,783 --> 01:31:53,811
Tony, what did I ever do to you?
975
01:31:53,922 --> 01:31:57,187
Tony. Tony!
976
01:31:57,725 --> 01:32:02,128
Help! Help!
977
01:32:02,230 --> 01:32:05,563
- Police!
- Alfred?
978
01:32:05,667 --> 01:32:09,330
Alfred, darling.
Darling, are you all right?
979
01:32:09,437 --> 01:32:12,167
- Alfred, are you all right?
- Why shouldn't I be all right?
980
01:32:12,273 --> 01:32:15,834
What are you doing down here on the floor
in the middle of all this disaster?
981
01:32:15,944 --> 01:32:18,412
I was making an experiment.
People do, you know.
982
01:32:18,513 --> 01:32:20,981
Without them, there'd be
very little progress in this world.
983
01:32:21,082 --> 01:32:24,518
I think I'm well within my own rights.
I'm doing what I like in my own house.
984
01:32:24,619 --> 01:32:27,053
They say in England
that an Englishman's home is his castle.
985
01:32:27,155 --> 01:32:29,419
Of course you're within
your rights, darling, but... -
986
01:32:29,524 --> 01:32:32,823
Well, you've made kind of
a mess out of your castle.
987
01:32:32,927 --> 01:32:34,827
Oh, bless you, darling.
988
01:32:34,929 --> 01:32:37,989
What are you laughing about? Did I invite you here?
989
01:32:38,099 --> 01:32:40,465
Have you got to be in my house
morning, noon and night?
990
01:32:40,568 --> 01:32:42,900
Please go back to 3406
and wait till I send for you.
991
01:32:43,004 --> 01:32:46,633
- Certainly, Sir Alfred. I was only... -
- Spare me your explanations until I ask for them.
992
01:32:46,741 --> 01:32:50,677
- What's he done?
You're acting like a bear with a sore paw.
- That's right. Side with him.
993
01:32:50,778 --> 01:32:55,340
- Well, why shouldn't I side with him?
- I'll be in 3406.
994
01:32:55,450 --> 01:32:57,918
- Hmm. Craven.
- Darling, let me feel your head.
995
01:32:58,019 --> 01:33:00,214
I don't wish to have
my head felt, thank you.
996
01:33:00,321 --> 01:33:03,950
Apart from marrying you, my head's been
perfectly all right for quite a long time.
997
01:33:04,058 --> 01:33:07,391
Alfred! Oh. Oh.
998
01:33:07,495 --> 01:33:09,929
Alfred. Heavens.
999
01:33:13,635 --> 01:33:15,535
Bless you.
1000
01:33:15,637 --> 01:33:17,935
Alfred, what in heaven's name
is the matter with you?
1001
01:33:18,039 --> 01:33:21,133
I mean, even if you are a musician
and an Englishman...
1002
01:33:21,242 --> 01:33:24,302
don't you think that you're carrying things
just a little bit too far?
1003
01:33:24,412 --> 01:33:28,610
I mean, you walk out with 2,000 people
standing up and yelling for you...
1004
01:33:28,716 --> 01:33:31,844
and you've completely
wrecked the apartment and...
1005
01:33:31,953 --> 01:33:34,547
now you've probably broken
your glasses.
1006
01:33:37,959 --> 01:33:39,984
You have.
1007
01:33:40,094 --> 01:33:42,995
By the way, I will not be able to
take you dancing tonight.
1008
01:33:43,097 --> 01:33:44,997
Why? Who are you taking?
1009
01:33:45,099 --> 01:33:47,863
I mean you'll have to be taken
by somebody else. I have other plans.
1010
01:33:47,969 --> 01:33:49,994
- Taken where?
- Dancing.
1011
01:33:50,104 --> 01:33:53,073
Who told you I wanted
to go danc... - uh, dancing?
1012
01:33:53,174 --> 01:33:56,803
You're coming down with a heavy cold,
and I feel about as much like going dancing as... -
1013
01:33:56,911 --> 01:34:00,312
Really. Wouldn't you like to
go dancing with Tony?
1014
01:34:00,415 --> 01:34:02,349
With Tony?
1015
01:34:02,450 --> 01:34:04,350
Have you ever seen Tony dance?
1016
01:34:04,452 --> 01:34:07,649
I saw him once with Barbara,
and he gets up on his toes like a rooster...
1017
01:34:07,755 --> 01:34:09,655
and he pushes you over sideways...
1018
01:34:09,757 --> 01:34:12,453
and then he shoves your head back
till you think it's gonna drop off.
1019
01:34:12,560 --> 01:34:14,585
Why, compared to him,
you look like Arthur Murray.
1020
01:34:14,696 --> 01:34:17,460
- I don't need any compliments, thank you.
- You are not getting any.
1021
01:34:17,565 --> 01:34:19,556
Besides, the way
you've been acting tonight...
1022
01:34:19,667 --> 01:34:22,966
I feel about as much like going dancing
as I feel like cutting my throat.
1023
01:34:23,071 --> 01:34:25,505
All I feel like doing is crying.
1024
01:34:27,208 --> 01:34:29,904
How did you happen to use that simile?
1025
01:34:30,011 --> 01:34:31,911
What's a simile?
1026
01:34:32,013 --> 01:34:34,481
A simile is a... -
1027
01:34:34,582 --> 01:34:37,346
A simile is a... -
1028
01:34:37,452 --> 01:34:41,718
Oh, bless you. What you need to do is
get out of that wet shirt and into a nice hot bath.
1029
01:34:41,823 --> 01:34:45,520
Why are you always trying to put me in
a nice hot bath? I begin to find it sinister.
1030
01:34:45,626 --> 01:34:47,526
Well, would you like
a nice hot toddy then?
1031
01:34:47,628 --> 01:34:50,791
I don't want anything nice and hot.
I'm sweating like a bull now.
1032
01:34:50,898 --> 01:34:53,230
- You mean perspiring, darling.
- I do not mean perspiring.
1033
01:34:53,334 --> 01:34:55,234
If I say I'm sweating, I'm sweating.
1034
01:34:55,336 --> 01:34:57,930
Now kindly go into your own room.
I would like to disrobe.
1035
01:34:58,039 --> 01:35:02,032
- Are you talking to me?
- Unless you have somebody
concealed under the rug, I imagine I am.
1036
01:35:02,143 --> 01:35:05,237
Well, go ahead and disrobe.
Since when did... -
1037
01:35:05,346 --> 01:35:08,804
Oh, really, Alfred!
You're getting nuttier than a fruitcake!
1038
01:35:09,951 --> 01:35:11,919
Hah!
1039
01:37:20,381 --> 01:37:22,349
Darling.
1040
01:37:43,104 --> 01:37:45,698
- Darling.
- Oh!
1041
01:37:45,806 --> 01:37:48,036
Oh, Alfred.
Did you hurt yourself? Oh.
1042
01:37:48,142 --> 01:37:50,042
Nothing of the slightest importance,
thank you.
1043
01:37:50,144 --> 01:37:52,044
Oh, yes, you did too.
You cut your thumb.
1044
01:37:52,146 --> 01:37:55,115
- Oh. I'll bandage it for you.
- I'll bandage it myself.
1045
01:37:55,216 --> 01:37:58,242
- What'd you say, dear?
- I said I can manage quite nicely, thank you.
1046
01:37:58,352 --> 01:38:01,583
Oh, heavens, Alfred.
Darling, those things are so sharp.
1047
01:38:01,689 --> 01:38:03,850
Here, darling. I'll do it for you.
1048
01:38:05,393 --> 01:38:07,293
Darling, you ought to be
more careful.
1049
01:38:07,395 --> 01:38:09,295
I'm being quite careful, thank you.
1050
01:38:09,397 --> 01:38:11,627
People get blood poisoning.
All kinds of... -
1051
01:38:11,732 --> 01:38:13,632
- Gently now.
- All right.
1052
01:38:13,734 --> 01:38:15,634
Oh!
1053
01:38:15,736 --> 01:38:18,261
- Oh!
- Well, hold it still, darling.
1054
01:38:20,441 --> 01:38:23,205
There. Does it hurt very much?
1055
01:38:23,311 --> 01:38:25,302
- No.
- Oh, I'm so glad.
1056
01:38:25,413 --> 01:38:28,473
Well, what are you shaving
at this time of the night for anyway?
1057
01:38:28,583 --> 01:38:31,051
You'd be enormously surprised... -
1058
01:38:31,152 --> 01:38:34,349
Bless you.
1059
01:38:34,455 --> 01:38:38,152
Well, if you won't take a bath,
at least don't take your death of cold.
1060
01:39:04,085 --> 01:39:07,282
You do like to do little things
for me, don't you?
1061
01:39:07,388 --> 01:39:09,652
Not when you're like this I don't.
1062
01:39:14,929 --> 01:39:16,863
I'll forgive you anyway.
1063
01:39:16,964 --> 01:39:18,898
Forgive me for what?
1064
01:39:19,000 --> 01:39:22,060
You know perfectly well what I'm forgiving you for,
so kindly hold your tongue!
1065
01:39:22,169 --> 01:39:24,467
- What?
- Lest I change my mind.
1066
01:39:24,572 --> 01:39:26,631
Well, go ahead and change your mind.
1067
01:39:26,741 --> 01:39:29,039
I'll change my mind
if I wish to change my mind.
1068
01:39:29,143 --> 01:39:32,670
If I don't wish to change my mind,
I shan't change my mind. Is that clear?
1069
01:39:32,780 --> 01:39:36,648
Alfred. What do you want to start
paying bills for at this hour?
1070
01:39:36,751 --> 01:39:39,151
Bills? Hah!
1071
01:39:39,253 --> 01:39:42,245
- Can I help you, darling?
- I can manage quite nicely, thank you.
1072
01:39:43,424 --> 01:39:45,619
If it were possible for once
to have a little ink...
1073
01:39:45,726 --> 01:39:48,320
in the fountain pens in this house
like they do in well run houses... -
1074
01:39:48,429 --> 01:39:50,761
- I know. Like in England.
- Precisely. Like in England.
1075
01:39:50,865 --> 01:39:53,561
Try the other one.
We drive on the right-hand side over here.
1076
01:39:53,668 --> 01:39:55,568
That's a bright remark.
1077
01:39:55,670 --> 01:39:58,366
Oh. Oh, Alfred.
1078
01:39:58,472 --> 01:40:01,032
Oh, I'll try to find something.
1079
01:40:01,142 --> 01:40:03,633
Very well. I will not forgive you.
1080
01:40:03,744 --> 01:40:05,712
Suit yourself.
1081
01:40:07,581 --> 01:40:10,744
- What's the matter with you?
- You're not laughing quite so hard now.
1082
01:40:10,851 --> 01:40:14,309
- What are you going to do with that?
- Have you ever heard of Russian roulette?
1083
01:40:14,422 --> 01:40:17,152
Why, certainly.
I used to play it all the time with my father.
1084
01:40:17,258 --> 01:40:20,489
I doubt that you played Russian roulette
all the time with your father.
1085
01:40:20,594 --> 01:40:23,495
I most certainly did.
You play it with two packs of cards, and... -
1086
01:40:23,597 --> 01:40:26,293
That is Russian bank.
Russian roulette's a very different amusement...
1087
01:40:26,400 --> 01:40:29,563
which I can only wish your father
had played continuously before he had you.
1088
01:40:29,670 --> 01:40:32,468
- Where are the... -
- Oh, Alfred, what is the matter with you?
1089
01:40:32,573 --> 01:40:34,598
You're acting like a crocodile
with a toothache.
1090
01:40:34,709 --> 01:40:37,177
- Where are the bullets for my revolver?
- I don't know.
1091
01:40:37,278 --> 01:40:39,542
You never seem
to be able to find anything.
1092
01:40:40,881 --> 01:40:44,214
Why don't you call Tony and ask him?
He's supposed to look after your things.
1093
01:40:44,318 --> 01:40:46,218
And how he does. What devotion.
1094
01:40:46,320 --> 01:40:49,756
And how you've thanked him for it tonight.
Honestly, Alfred, of all the boors... -
1095
01:40:49,857 --> 01:40:54,817
- Just give me one reason why
I should thank him, and I'll call him at once.
- Well, I wish you would.
1096
01:40:54,929 --> 01:40:57,193
- What's his room number?
- 3406.
1097
01:40:57,298 --> 01:40:59,493
- How'd you know that?
- Why shouldn't I know it?
1098
01:40:59,600 --> 01:41:02,535
He's your secretary, isn't he?
I must have called him 9,000 times.
1099
01:41:02,636 --> 01:41:05,434
- But you've never been there?
- Yes, I have.
1100
01:41:05,539 --> 01:41:08,804
- When, may I ask?
- I don't think I want to tell you that.
1101
01:41:08,909 --> 01:41:12,003
- I shouldn't think you would.
- Because it's really my problem. I... -
1102
01:41:12,113 --> 01:41:15,082
- Well, unless you want to help me with it.
- I shall be charmed!
1103
01:41:15,182 --> 01:41:17,082
You don't look very charmed.
1104
01:41:17,184 --> 01:41:19,744
- It happened while you were in England.
- Naturally.
1105
01:41:19,854 --> 01:41:22,880
He called me up one night, about 1:30,
to find out if Barbara was here...
1106
01:41:22,990 --> 01:41:25,151
because she'd told him that she was... -
but she wasn't.
1107
01:41:25,259 --> 01:41:27,750
- How was that his business?
- He's married to her, isn't he?
1108
01:41:27,862 --> 01:41:29,762
- Who is married to who?
- August.
1109
01:41:29,864 --> 01:41:33,027
- Don't try and change the subject. We're not... -
- I'm not trying to change the subject.
1110
01:41:33,134 --> 01:41:36,160
I'm trying to tell you August called me here
to find out if Barbara was with me...
1111
01:41:36,270 --> 01:41:38,261
because she told him she was... -
only she wasn't.
1112
01:41:38,372 --> 01:41:40,704
- Who cares where Barbara is?
- August, I suppose.
1113
01:41:40,808 --> 01:41:43,368
- Oh, very well. Where was she?
- Well, I had this... -
1114
01:41:43,477 --> 01:41:45,672
this awful suspicion
that I didn't want to have.
1115
01:41:45,780 --> 01:41:49,739
After all, she is my kid sister, and I always hoped
that when she said those things about August...
1116
01:41:49,850 --> 01:41:52,546
- that she was just trying to be funny.
- It wouldn't be very difficult.
1117
01:41:52,653 --> 01:41:54,985
Anyway, I didn't dare tell August
that she wasn't here...
1118
01:41:55,089 --> 01:41:57,284
and I didn't dare call her
where I thought she was...
1119
01:41:57,391 --> 01:41:59,586
because the kind of a man
who checks up on his wife...
1120
01:41:59,693 --> 01:42:02,992
is the kind of a man who hires detectives
to help him and has telephones tapped.
1121
01:42:03,097 --> 01:42:05,463
You're describing August
down to the last moth in his wallet.
1122
01:42:05,566 --> 01:42:08,433
Anyway, I told him that she had been here
with me and had just left.
1123
01:42:08,536 --> 01:42:11,096
Then I threw on a negligee
and hurried down there, just in case.
1124
01:42:11,205 --> 01:42:13,639
- Hurried down where?
- To 3406.
1125
01:42:13,741 --> 01:42:15,971
3406.
1126
01:42:16,076 --> 01:42:17,976
3406! Of course!
1127
01:42:18,078 --> 01:42:20,046
Well, of course,
since that's Tony's room.
1128
01:42:20,147 --> 01:42:24,174
The door was open a little, so I marched right in
ready to give her a piece of my mind...
1129
01:42:24,285 --> 01:42:27,379
but there wasn't anybody there,
which certainly made me feel a lot better...
1130
01:42:27,488 --> 01:42:30,321
and I started to leave a lot happier
than I had felt when I arrived.
1131
01:42:30,424 --> 01:42:34,087
Then I suddenly realized how terrible it would look
if anybody saw me coming out of that room.
1132
01:42:34,195 --> 01:42:36,095
Because Tony's about my age and... -
1133
01:42:36,197 --> 01:42:39,325
To anybody who didn't understand how
you and I feel about each other, it would look... -
1134
01:42:39,433 --> 01:42:41,492
- Well, you know how dumb some people are.
- Do I.
1135
01:42:41,602 --> 01:42:44,093
Just before I opened the door
I peeked through the keyhole...
1136
01:42:44,205 --> 01:42:48,642
and right there, near the freight elevator, I saw
this great big old jerk squinting around the corner.
1137
01:42:48,742 --> 01:42:51,973
- A large lumpy man with a face like an orangutan?
- Right. Like a gorilla.
1138
01:42:52,079 --> 01:42:55,708
- Sweeney, the detective! August's detective!
- That's what I was afraid of.
1139
01:42:55,816 --> 01:42:58,011
Anyway, he stood there, and so I waited...
1140
01:42:58,118 --> 01:43:00,018
and he waited and we waited... -
1141
01:43:00,120 --> 01:43:02,384
For 38 minutes!
He kept you there himself!
1142
01:43:02,490 --> 01:43:04,458
Well, it felt more like 38 years.
1143
01:43:04,558 --> 01:43:08,722
Why, I actually began to feel guilty. I'd never been
in a man's room before... - except yours.
1144
01:43:08,829 --> 01:43:11,593
You wonderful, wonderful,
wonderful child.
1145
01:43:11,699 --> 01:43:15,157
- Why? What's so wonderful about that?
- Telling me this tonight, of all nights.
1146
01:43:15,269 --> 01:43:17,999
Telling you what, my darling?
I have no secrets from you.
1147
01:43:18,105 --> 01:43:20,005
Will you do me a very great favor?
1148
01:43:20,107 --> 01:43:22,905
I'll do anything you like
as long as you ask me that way.
1149
01:43:23,010 --> 01:43:26,241
Will you put on your lowest cut,
most vulgarly ostentatious dress...
1150
01:43:26,347 --> 01:43:28,679
with the largest and vulgarest jewels
that you possess?
1151
01:43:28,782 --> 01:43:30,750
- I thought you weren't feeling... -
- Then accompany me...
1152
01:43:30,851 --> 01:43:32,944
to the vulgarest,
most ostentatious, loudest...
1153
01:43:33,053 --> 01:43:35,715
and hardest-to-get-into
establishment this city affords?
1154
01:43:35,823 --> 01:43:40,351
- But your cold, darling... -
- There's nothing the matter with me that
a couple of magnums of champagne won't cure.
1155
01:43:40,461 --> 01:43:43,919
I happen to want to celebrate.
I want to be seen in your exquisite company.
1156
01:43:44,031 --> 01:43:47,000
I want the whole world to know
that I'm the most fortunate of men...
1157
01:43:47,101 --> 01:43:49,262
in the possession of
the most magnificent of wives.
1158
01:43:49,370 --> 01:43:54,398
I want to swim in champagne and paint the whole
town not only red, but red, white and blue.
1159
01:43:54,508 --> 01:43:56,806
I want everybody to see
how much I adore you...
1160
01:43:56,911 --> 01:44:00,904
always have adored you,
revere you and... - and trust you.
1161
01:44:01,015 --> 01:44:04,348
Also how much I hope
you have of warmth for me.
1162
01:44:04,451 --> 01:44:06,351
But, my darling, I worship you.
1163
01:44:06,453 --> 01:44:10,412
- Then put on your most outrageous dress.
- Shall I wear the purple with the plumes at the hips?
1164
01:44:10,524 --> 01:44:12,856
- The purple with the plumes at the hips?
- Yes. You know.
1165
01:44:12,960 --> 01:44:17,260
It's cut down on one shoulder, and the coq feathers
shoot off one hip like a tail of a comet.
1166
01:44:17,364 --> 01:44:19,355
I know it only too well.
1167
01:44:19,466 --> 01:44:22,299
Wear the purple with the plumes
at the hips, by all means.
1168
01:44:22,403 --> 01:44:25,270
- And let it be a purple lesson to me.
- All right, my darling.
1169
01:44:25,372 --> 01:44:28,739
- Shh!
- What was the matter with you tonight, Alfred?
1170
01:44:28,842 --> 01:44:33,279
Something so vulgar, so utterly contemptible
and unworthy of a love like yours...
1171
01:44:33,380 --> 01:44:35,439
I beg of you never to make me tell you.
1172
01:44:35,549 --> 01:44:38,518
But of course I won't, my darling.
1173
01:44:38,619 --> 01:44:40,746
I know what it's like to be a great man.
1174
01:44:40,854 --> 01:44:42,947
That is, I don't really, but...
1175
01:44:43,057 --> 01:44:45,423
having so many responsibilities and...
1176
01:44:46,460 --> 01:44:48,758
so much tenseness...
1177
01:44:48,862 --> 01:44:51,888
watching out for
and protecting so many people.
1178
01:44:51,999 --> 01:44:53,728
Shh!
1179
01:44:53,834 --> 01:44:56,928
A thousand poets dreamed
a thousand years.
1180
01:44:57,972 --> 01:45:01,271
Then you were born, my love.